Musical Alliance

Bitchass Alvin

  It's the day of the international music awards and fuck this shit already. That's what I wanna say but I can't. Today's actually been pretty good so far, which means that it's gonna be 10x worse when I actually attend the music awards. Theodore must've noticed that I'm still pretty upset about attending and spoke up. "Alvin, don't worry! If you see them you can just hang out by the snack bar until it's over!" He gave me a big smile that made me smile back. He did give a good idea, I can just stay by the snack bar the entire time and be lowkey! I'm a huge attention whore though so i don't know how long im gonna last like that, but if it means not talking to any of those Sesame Street fuckers then someone else can be in the spotlight tonight.

  The drive to the music awards was pretty long but by this point I'm used to it. Everyone I saw was dressed perfectly for this occasion I thought as I saw lady gaga wearing her meat dress. As soon as me, my brothers, and Dave walked in I immediately ran towards the snack bar dodging everyone who was in my way. Yup so much fun great loving these cracker shits on that plate! Fucking awsome as shit having a chocolate fountain here! Yooooooo these bitches are FIIIIIIRE i don't even know wtf these are!

  .......i cant survive being like this any longer. I keep checking my phone for anything that could distract me but it's no use. It feels like the internet became more boring as soon as I stepped in here. I tried playing subway surfers to try and pass time but I kept pausing to look around for anything else to excite me. I turn off my phone and begin to walk around the snack bar. I'm not that hungry but I don't think I can stand being still for any longer.

  "(●'◡'●)AAAAALVIIIIIIIINNN!!!!!!☆* o(≧▽≦)o*☆" I heard as footsteps grew closer to me. I turn back almost crying, FINALLY SOMEONE I CAN TALK TO!!! "HATSUNE MIKU?!?!?!?!?" Miku keeps sprinting until we're face to face. I feel like I've shrunk but it's just her shoes...or my bad posture... "ヾ(≧▽≦*)o Alvin! I've been sent by your brothers to un-bore you!!♪(^∇^*)" She said while striking a pose. MIku is one of those people who can make you smile even if you've been thinking about reality for too long. We start talking and it's already so much better than it was a couple minutes ago and I start telling her about how I almost wasn't even gonna show up here at all. "( *︾▽︾) Well it's good you did because if you didn't then we would have to get the army come after you!( •̀ ω •́ )✧" "Haha what army?" I reply back, thinking she's joking but then I look back to see her face and she looks like she just realized what she had just said.

  "w(ﾟДﾟ)w I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING! GOODBYE◑﹏◐!" She said as she ran away somewhere else. As soon as she left I immediately became just as lonely as I was before she came. I looked around for my brothers but they were talking and having fun with everyone else. I turned on my phone, after looking at them it made me feel just a little bit more lonely now. No new messages, no new anything else. Was the internet always this boring? Or is it just the fact that it bugs me so much that everyone else is enjoying their time here and I'm not that I don't allow myself to enjoy whatever pops up on screen.

  I then hear a grumble come from my stomach, finally being next to this snack bar's a blessing! I started looking around putting a couple things on my plate, some fried chicken, fried rice, and a fried fork because my doctor said I need more iron in my body. I then stop, a cinnamon toast crunch flavored shrimp? Is that even fucking real? I keep looking at it, and I hate that I think I need this on my plate. This is so cursed and so wrong but i fucking need it. I reach out my hand to grab it. It feels like im destined to have it and I hate that this stupid ass fucking shrimp is making my mouth water. As soon as my hand touches the shrimp I feel another hand touch mine. "Oh sorry! Elmo didn't see you!"

  It feels like time just stops as I hear those words echo in my head. Elmo? HIM?!?I looked to where I heard that voice, mentally hitting myself in the head that all the trouble i went through just to avoid him and see that i've just been delaying the inevitable! "........fuck you." That's all I could manage to say, still pretty shocked I didn't actually expect to see him today."Uhhhh excuse me?" He responded. "Yeahhh fuck you." Goddamn it, is this all I can really say? "Bitch the fuck did I ever do to you?" He got more aggressive, i gotta say at least i'm not that bored anymore now. "Showed your bitch ass to me." "BITCH i'm sorry, did you forget that 4th movie you did? ROACHTRIP???" "AT LEAST I DON'T NEED HELP COUNTING PASS 4" "ALRIGHT LEMME SHOW YOU HOW HIGH I CAN COUNT THEN BITCH! 1BILLION, 2BILLION, 3BILLION, 4BILLION MORE THAN YOUR BITCH ASS MADE SINCE WE CAME ON THE SCENE." "THAT STILL AINT MORE THAN 4 MOP ASS."

  He grabbed me by the shirt collar. "At least I wasn't broken up with-" I readied my fist thinking we were about to fight but then I heard a helicopter getting that sounded like it was right outside the building. He let me go and I un-balled my fist. I can only imagine how confused we both looked as we we're looking around, probably thinking who didn't pay their taxes or something. My jaw dropped as I saw THE 44TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES BARACK OBAMA POLE DANCE DOWN ONTO STAGE WITH HATSUNE MIKU. What the absolute fuck is happening.

  "Hello my fellow Americans and international artists. We have something incredibly important to announce." "ヾ(≧▽≦*)oYes Yes! Very important( •̀ ω •́ )✧!! "We are here to announce the 'Better than the rest of yall fuckers' award!" Obama said in his Obama voice. "(☆▽☆)This award is to the most popular suuuuper cool and best selling artist!!!q(≧▽≦q)" "That is right bitches, bros and non-binary hoes also if you win you get instant bragging rights for ever, you can flex on that orphan you saw down the street if you rlly too cause it can't say shit back!"

  Once me and Elmo heard this we both looked at each other both knowing what the other was thinking. "Elmo's gonna win that award!" "Not if I have anything to do with it!" We both gave each other one last glare before walking away. After that Obama and Hatsune Miku both reversed pole danced up into the helicopter and screamed something about all proceeds going to charity but who fucking cares about that, and that the dead line is by january 1st. The international music awards seemed to end after that and everyone else was leaving, with one thought in all our minds.

                                                    Welp this shit bouta be interesting