Vices & virtues // Bucky Barnes

VI

There lies my sanity

There goes my mind, I could not save

I don't trust what I see right in front of me

I don't know who to betray

This is how villains are made

This is how villains are made

Madalen Duke, How Villains Are Made

  I was bored. Natalia was out of town, Bucky was on some kind of business meeting, Bones wasn't picking up, Wanda was on a date with her fiance and I was fucking bored, so I called Sam, knowing he's out with Pietro, and decided to roam the city a bit before joining them for a drink.

  I felt free.

  I never thought motorcycles would be my thing, until I ended up here. Being in sync with the machine somehow gave me the feelings I didn't even know I wanted or needed. Slithering between cars like a snake between enemies, I rode around just to check a few places I knew and liked. My mind somehow guided me through the places I used to go with Steve.

  I missed him. I didn't understand that, but a piece of me still missed him, after knowing what he did, even though I was thirsting for revenge, for making him pay for the pain I still felt.

  The blue, red and white motorbike I knew so well was standing in the corner of one of the pubs I used to go. With him.

  I couldn't help myself to text Sam I'll be late and park right beside him, just to wait. I had all the time in the world. But it didn't take long.

- Hello, Steve.

- Blair, what the fuck?! - He hissed, grabbing my arm and dragging me to the dark corner. - Are you insane, what are you doing here?

- Just hanging around. - I pushed him away. - Since when you're so violent, huh?

- Are you aware in what kind of trouble you are?

- I don't recall any other than being your ex.

- You don't understand anything. - He was visibly irritated and I couldn't help but chuckle, seeing him so distressed. - You're the most important, Blair, and you're in danger, and...

- You put me in danger. You almost got me killed. - I counted, calmly. - You left me for death with someone you used to call your mortal enemy and the biggest villain of this city.

- And you? You went straight into his arms and...

- Oh, I see. This is where it hurts, huh? Me and Barnes.

- You became a monster because of him, Blair.

- I am a monster? - Now I was laughing out loud, hysterically, driven by an impulse pulling my gun out and aiming at him. His eyes grew wider as he took a step back. - I am? Look in the fucking mirror, Steven. I loved you, I loved you with all my heart, supported you and every fucking move of yours, I planned a fucking wedding, I tried to be your perfect American whore, and you traded me, for what? - I was approaching him quicker and quicker, until his back reached a wall and my gun rested under his chin. - For this rat city and some kind of prestige nobody gives a fuck about. You hang around with this poor girl, telling everyone you and her are dating for three months, and I'm not even gone for one. You tried to erase me as if you were ashamed of being connected to your little mafia rooted girlfriend. You knew all of this, Steve. You knew and you took me that way. And now what? You used me. You speak of James lowly, but you have nothing on him. He's more of a hero than you are, fucker. I could kill you right now, shoot your pretty face off and I wouldn't even hesitate, but I don't want the blood of a traitor on my hands. I'm not getting dirty with a rat like you. - I spat out, pouring all my anger out on him, pushing the gun right into his throat, lifting his chin with it. - I never loved someone as much as I loved you, but you know what? I also never hated anyone that much as I hate you now. I swear to the fucking gods, I will make your life a living hell until I'll get bored of that. You know what they say, heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?