Vices & virtues // Bucky Barnes

VIII *

Disclaimer: this chapter contains mature content. Minors DNI.

You're in the walls that I made
With crosses and frames hanging upside down
For granted, in vain, I took everything 
I ever cared about
I miss the way you say my name
The way you bend, the way you break
Your makeup running down your face
The way you fuck, the way you taste

Bad Omens, The Death Of Peace Of Mind

   Yet again, the next days were strange. We came back from Alaska, never talked about the make-out session or the past friendship of him and Steve, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. Bucky was spending a lot of time at his company, but I didn't dare to ask why. I was pacing around the room, still unsettled even after my intense self care routine. Blair, you're spiraling, calm down, idiotic fuck, voices of both of my brothers ehoed in my head. I was probably ovulating, as all I could think about was going out to town and finding a guy for one night, but I also didn't want to bother. One night stands never end up good for a girls like me. I opened the balcony, trying to calm myself down, and sat down by vanity to gently brush my shair, thinking that I should probably call Banner and ask for a good therapist or psychiatrist. 

   A hesitant knock on my door alerted me enough to wrap the robe around my bodyand say:

- Yes?

- May I come in? Are you decent? - Bucky's voice soothed my senses a little, yet made me shiver with the knot I felt in my deep in my belly. I stood up and opened the door. - Fucks sake, I asked if you're decent, you can't just walk around in all this stuff.

- Sorry, I didn't expect a visitor in the midnight hour.

   He pushed past through me, ignoring me completely, and walked straight to the balcony to lock the door.

- Your hair is wet. You'll get sick, doll.

   I raised my eyebrow, going back to the vanity and brushing my hair (that wasn't, in fact, wet at all). He didn't say anything, just hung out in the room, restlessly checking up the stuff I had.

- I fucked up. - He said, unexpectedly to me, and I froze with the hair brush in my hands.

- What happened?

- You'll get upset again.

- Why would I get upset?

- I just know you will.

- The fuck happened, Bucky?

- Remember that award gala Zemo talked about? I might've told them I'll be attending with my fiance.

   A sigh escaped my lungs. He looked defeated. 

- And that shall be... me?

- Of course, who else? Zemo knows you already, he's one of the participants, he'll be talking shit if I go alone.

- I still owe you one, so no worries. Just get me a dress once again. - I smiled, feeling the drink in my veins, yet again.

- You serious?

- Yeah, totally. Can't wait to pretend to be your bird, haven't I done this before?

- You played your part perfectly, dove. What kind of dress would you like now?

- Maybe black would do? Light pink? Or dark green, I don't know, pick it yourself again. By the way, you seem tense, is everything okay? - I said softly, sipping on the red wine I requested from the kitchen earlier today, knowing its impact on me and being perfectly aware I shouldn't be drinking red for one certain reason, especially today. But the night was still young, and I was young. I could do anything I wanted.