Vices & virtues // Bucky Barnes

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He was a quiet man, with bloodstains on his hands
The silver kissed him with scars so heavy
I waited patiently, harmonics on reprieve
The desert echoes that drove me crazy in my
Blue dress, satin black
Taking every piece of my soul
Blue dress, faded black
Look me in my eyes as they close

~Zella Day, Jerome

   The further I was getting caught up with Bucky's side business, the more I was forgetting about my silly little broken heart and Steve himself. I was too busy getting involved into hunting down the clique that was selling children around like the plums in a farmers market.

  Alex has sent his birds around well enough to book us an appointment with the prioress. We went there in the late evening, as she requested. I was so nervous I threw up before we left.

   An old fashioned dress on me and Bucky's suit surely made an impact. The old hag scanned us before smiling wide with fake warmth and sweetness. We were holding hands, telling her a story about my (fake) miscarriages and (fake) wedding planning, the (fake) deep faith we were putting in the Christian god, and I started to tear up just right in time. As I sobbed, she reassured us she will be able to help us.

   She also proceed to tell James she recalls him as a good man, the CEO providing so many work places, and pleaded about good lord again. She added something about side businesses right before she offered us a "beautiful, new born baby sent just from God" for half a million of donation for the orphanage. Paid in cash, to her hands.

   We, obviously, agreed. The waiting time would be about four to eight weeks, sister Ethel said before we got up, thanked her and left.

   I threw up again right after we approached the car.

   The whole way from the orphanage was silent. Bucky's jaw was so clenched I started to worry if the bones aren't breaking. We didn't talk as we entered the manor, we didn't exchange a single word until we reached the upper dining room.

- I want her mine. - I exclaimed.

- No.

- What do you mean no? - He caught me halfway, I stopped right where I was standing. - I want her mine, James. I want to end this bitch.

- No. - He repeated, casually approaching the table to pour himself some whiskey.

- You told me I need to learn how to kill! I want to murder her and burn the fuck down the whole gate of hell she made there! - All the anger I felt has started to pile up. I could feel it down my throat, burning and itching. - She made hundreds, maybe fucking thousands children suffer! Have you seen her idiotic smile when she said she'll make sure the child will be as pretty as I am?! I want her on her knees begging her god for forgiveness, I want her...

- No. - He interrupted me again. - You won't get her.

- Why?

- Because I will.

- Again, why? You think I'm too weak? - It would be painful to know that he finds me weak. The last thing I wanted to be perceive as was weak, not after the pity people felt towards me since Steve chose the city over a woman he proposed to.

- No.

- Then why?

- You saw the pictures on her fucking walls, Blair?

- I did, and I...

- One of them was my nephew.

   I couldn't finish the sentence. I wasn't able to. Any words I could say wouldn't be enough.