Vices & virtues // Bucky Barnes

VII

Quick pause in conversation
She plays songs I've never heard
An old lover's hippie music
Pretends not to know the words
And I keep thinking back to
A time under the canyon moon

Harry Styles, Canyon Moon

 - Is Alaska warm at this time of the year? - I asked hesitantly and received a glance from Bucky.

- The nights are cold but the days should be sunny and pretty warm, I suppose. - He answered, stopping the car before a small, but cozy looking summer house with big windows, a lovely porch and a balcony on the upper side. - We've got a lake on the other side of the hut and...

- The hut? - I chuckled, picking up my bagpack from the trunk, just to have it ripped out of my hand immediately. Fucking gentlemen. - You sound just like my dad, seriously. Always belittling the beauty and glory. I love it here, wow.

- You'll love it in the evening. No place in the world compares to this when the night sky is clear. I bet you haven't seen that many stars your whole life.

- We'll see then.

- We'll see.

   As much as my healing shoulder let me, I enjoyed the whole day. Bucky took me on a hike that had me amazed with the environment, and when we got back, he swam in the lake as I sat on the bridge, basking in the sun like a lizard. God, it felt so refreshing to be out of town, surrounded with nothing by trees, wilderness and a natural body of water. Birds chirping, trees swaying in the soft wind, sun shining, water sparkling, nothing else I needed to feel content. Yet again, I had that strange feeling of homesickness up my chest, as this place reminded me of father's family house in North France, the one I missed so much. A happy place, where we spent the whole day playing outside, mom was playing the piano in the music room and then made us dinner we all ate in the garden. A much simpler time, seeming to be so long ago.

   We did cook, too. I noticed Bucky was having a great time with cooking, as I tried to remake one of my mom's best dishes. It was the very first time I saw him that relaxed, out of his dark and serious character. He looked good smiling like that, joking around and humming along with the music I played. It all felt somehow strange, but good. Fuck, it felt so good to take such a break from everything.

   And he was right about the night sky. European one looks different, and all the constellations were new to me, so we spent quite a long time sitting in the balcony, staring at the sky and debating on which star is which, checking it all up on the internet. He spoke about the astronomy with a passion I admired, but stopped and frowned, seeing me wrapping myself tighter in a thin blanket.

- You're cold, wait a minute. - I watched him rush inside, just to come back with a dark green jumper, a wool blanket and two mugs. With no hesitation, I put it on, inhaling Bucky's signature scent and nesting in the pillows again. - We can go back inside if you want to, you're still healing and...

- No, it's perfect. - I sipped on the tea and immediately started coughing. He laughed as I asked did he put vodka in the cup as well.

- No. Just rum.

- Wanna get me drunk? I'm already tipsy from all the wine I had today.

   He just chuckled again, laying right beside me and covering us both with a thicker blanket. After a while of comfortable silence and staring into the sky, I asked:

- Do you believe in fate, James? Do you believe that everything's written in the stars, their alignment and placement determines our lives?

- I don't know, honestly. I believe that some things are meant to happen, no matter how hard we're trying to avoid them. Is it written up there? I don't know. I'd like to believe that someone has sealed my fate, though. - He sipped on his tea, not grimacing at the taste of rum like I did. - That there's a calm future awaiting me. A wife. Kids, maybe. Somebody to come home to. But you know how it is... People like me don't really get happy endings. And you, miss Valentine? What do you believe in?