Vices & virtues // Bucky Barnes

I

One eye open and one eye closed 'cause I'll hang myself if you give me rope
I lost all my faith and lost all hope that everything means anything at all
One eye broken and one eye bruised 'cause I gave myself away for you
You liar, you don't love me too, it's easy for you after all

Halsey, Easier than lying

   My name is Blair Valentine and I think I actually died that day.

   I keep reliving the same moment in my head, over and over again.

   We were standing on the edge of one of the lower skyscrapers of our city. All my life flashed before my eyes when I dared to look down: the lights of the night life were just a sparks from up here. I held my breath, involuntary leaning into the guy that kept me hostage.

- Now, it's time for you to decide. - Still holding me close, almost crushing my ribcage in his steel grip, growled the dark haired man. - This fucking city, your home, a land you've sworn to protect, Captain, or... - A mischievous laughter left his mouth as we balanced on the edge of the building. The nauseous feeling was taking over me, the fear of heights once again making me dizzy, heart beating faster and faster. In all my despair, I clutched to the man I knew as James Barnes, the lifelong enemy of my fiance. He was the only thing I could've hang on for dear life, even if my life depended on him in that very moment. - Or her. The so called love of your life, Rogers. Choose one.

   I could see the spark in Steve fade. The blue eyes I knew so well this time did not look at me. He gazed over the city, the metropolis we both cherished so much, we loved so much. But I knew he loved me more, he would do anything to keep me safe, right? I wasn't afraid, because he was close, ready to save my life.

- I'm sorry. - My hero's voice was hoarse and full of regret. - I'm sorry, angel, but I have to choose the city I have sworn to protect.

   The whole world stopped that second. I could feel the grip that Barnes held on me loosen before I lost my consciousness and faded into the dark abyss.

   The light was dim and warm, yet still made my head thud. I groaned softly, shutting my eyes close again. Everything felt heavy, and my body craved a sip of water. I had to oversleep: the feeling of an innocent nap turning into a few hour too long sleep crept all over me, as I shifted in the covers, wondering if I should try to get up.

- You're finally awake. - A soft, deep voice made me sit up immediately. In a split of a second, I reminded myself everything that happen before there was nothing but darkness in my head.

   James Barnes was sitting in a chair next to the luxurious bed I was comfortably tucked in. He was staring at me with a sincere concern in his eyes. Brows furrowed, lips dry, a two-day stubble on his sharp jawline.

- Where I... What has... No, how, I... - I blurted out, confused, my head pounding heavy. Silk sheets covering me did bring me some comfort as I lied down again. The slick, cool fabric in a shade of deep navy blue hugged me in a tight embrace and soothed my overwhelmed senses.

- You better lie down. - Barnes interrupted me softly, standing up. Immediately shutting up, I watched him circle around the bed to approach a table on the other side of the room. He picked a green glass and filled it with water, just to turn around and get back to me, as I looked around. I had no idea where I was, but I would certainly go along with the interior designer responsible for this room. Dark wooden flooring and furniture finished with midnight blue walls. Simple, yet royal touches added in a form of a few candles, art pieces on the walls and fresh hydrangeas on the same table that Barnes was getting a drink from. He sat on the edge of the bed and handed the glass to me, encouragingly. - Drink. I promise, it's just water.