Vices & virtues // Bucky Barnes

XVI

It's beautiful how this deep normality settles down over me
I'm not bored or unhappy, I'm still so strange and wildYou're in the wind, I'm in the waterNobody's son, nobody's daughterWatching the chemtrails over the country clubSuburbia, The Brentwood MarketWhat to do next? Maybe we'll love it

~Lana Del Rey, Chemtrails Over The Country Club

  Funerals are fucked up, especially the postponed ones, because the sister of the dead guy is recovering from being shot.

   It was a lovely, sunny day. The bandages felt itchy under the black, silky dress I wore, and the braid I made in the morning was too tight, giving me a headache. We were standing over the casket and watching Steve perform his duty as Captain America and cover it with the flag. I hated it. My parents kept their faces straight (mother covered herself with a veil and dad was just as stone cold as usual), Alex couldn't help himself and snort when Bones' co-workers and friends all took turns to talk about how much of a great guy he was and I laughed internally, knowing he was the biggest asshole we all knew.

   But he was my brother, and I loved him. I still do.

   I grimaced as I noticed Steve being scolded silently by a tall, skinny blonde, taking his hand and gently patting him on the shoulder as he embraced her. Charlotte was a perfect match for him.

- Did you set them up? - Natasha murmured.

- Aha, I did, why?

- He acts like a little puppy around her.

- Good. I think they're made for each other. He needs someone that'll put him in his place. In a kennel or something. I wasn't able to do that, but I'm sure she is. - I smiled, not paying attention to the small talk Nat tried to continue. - Excuse me for a second, alright? I'll be right back real quick.

   I think I saw it it coming. I knew him too well.

   Making sure nobody is following me, I approached the van and discretely took a passenger seat.

- I didn't know I had so many friends.

- You know, Bones, you're a fucking scum. - I said, hugging him lightly. We both still were healing our wounds. His were just more visible than mine. - Have you told anyone else?

- Just Alex, so I expect mom and dad to find me in a week and yell at me collectively for half an hour.

- From the two of us, you're in bigger trouble now.

- I believe I am.

- You saved my life, Brock.

- You deserved that. My little sister, blood of my blood. - He smiled, his face covered with cuts and bruises. - Still wearing the ring, huh?

- Mhm. - I nodded, looking down at the Barnes family jewel. - I think it'll stay on forever now, you see. Not like the Steve's one.

- I hope I'll be able to attend the wedding, then.

- We'll find a way until then.

   He noticed the tears streaming down my face and gently brushed them off.

- Hey, it's fine. Blair, it's okay. I'll get the vacation I needed.

- I'm sorry...

- No, I am. I'm sorry for what I've done to you. You never deserved that, I was just stupid enough to...