Chapter Eight: Pros And Cons

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September 1994 - Hogwarts

My heart stopped when I saw him. I had to tell him. But tell him what? Tell him that this morning I had decided I was won over by him? Or tell him that I just went on a date with Cedric Diggory?

"Hey," he said. "Come on. We've saved you a seat between Jane and me."

Professor Moody seemed weird. Spent the class going over the unforgivable curses. But I mentally checked out. I had more important things to worry about. Draco or Cedric? I had to weigh the pros and cons.

Who's hotter? Cedric by far. But maybe it was just because he was older.

Who likes me the most? Well, that's not a fair comparison. Draco's known me for much longer.

Who do I like more? Again, not a fair comparison.

But there was one factor that would make or break the decision. If I dated Draco, we'd have to keep it a secret. That would be stressful. Not to mention it could cause drama in the friend group. At first, I couldn't bring myself to look at Draco in class, but now all I could do was look at him with slightly sad eyes. I had made my decision.

We all walked to lunch together until Draco reminded me had a surprise for me at lunch.

"You guys go ahead," he said. "We'll catch up." Then he grabbed me and pulled me around the corner. He held me gently against the wall and my heart got faster. He tucked my hair behind my ear, held my chin, and leaned in for a kiss.

"Draco," I said, stopping him by putting my hand on his chest. "I have to tell you something. This isn't going to work. My dad forbids it."

"What?" he asked.

"It's weird, I know. He said you're the only one at Hogwarts I'm not allowed to date. I don't understand it, but there's nothing I can do."

"Well you're good at keeping secrets, aren't you?" he asked, smirking.

"It's too much," I explained. "How are we supposed to enjoy each other when we can't hold hands or anything? Someone will see, word will get around, and we'll both be in trouble."

"I don't care," he said. It made me wonder if he's ever not gotten what he wants. Has he ever been told no?

"Draco," I said, stopping him again. "It's not that I don't want to date you. I don't want to date you in secret. If I'm gonna date someone, I can't be paranoid of people finding out." He looked at me in disbelief. And then I had to tell him the truth. "And I'm sort of...," I said. I wanted to tell him about Cedric but I couldn't find the words to explain it.

"Sort of what?' he demanded.

"I mean it's not...it's not really..."

"Use your words, Grace," he said.

"I'm seeing someone," I managed to get out. He let go of me and stepped away.

"What?"

"I mean it's not exactly that...I mean...someone's asked me out. That's all it is. It's not official."

"Who? Grace, it's literally been one day," he said. I hesitated to answer.

"Cedric Diggory." He looked away and took a breath.

"Seriously?" he said. "How is that fair? I've known you for a month and Mr. Hogwarts gets to swoop in and take you away from me in a day?"

"Hey, he's not taking me away from you. I was never yours, ok?"

"Clearly."

"Draco," I said. "I really like you, ok? If I'm going to date you, it's going to be unapologetically out in the open or not at all. Maybe one day we can get to that. I don't know, maybe my dad will change his mind. But I just got thrown into this crazy mess and I want to keep my head down and assess the world around me before I start testing some boundaries. I'm sorry. Are you mad at me?"

"Can I be?" he said spitefully. I felt horrible, but I really did believe that I did what I had to do. And we were friends. That was good enough for me. A tension followed us as we walked back to the great hall. I could tell he was mad at me but he didn't want to show it.

I took a breath as we walked to the great hall. The hard part was over, and we were still friends. I was a little disappointed. If it weren't for my dad, I could have who I really wanted. But I couldn't change anything. And Cedric wasn't a bad alternative.

We sat down at the table and I noticed Cedric out of the corner of my eye. We smiled at each other, then I looked at Draco.

"Go," he said. "It's fine. Go." I hugged him before walking away. And Cedric Diggory smiled as he saw me approach, ready for our lunch date. 

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