My Father's Only Rule || DRACO MALFOY X SNAPE'S DAUGHTER

Chapter Thirty-Six: I Am My Father's Daughter

May 2nd, 1998, 2:00 am - Hogwarts

 "Do you wanna find Jane and Blaise?"

"No."

We went to my room. We didn't know where else to go. We hadn't been there long, only five minutes or so. I was sitting on my bed, arms crossed. Draco had gone through all the emotions now that Voldemort was gone. He cried, he kicked things, he sulked, and he was finally stable enough to ask me what I wanted to do next. But I didn't want to do anything. Battle was still happening throughout the school, but we could sense it was coming to an end, and casualties were being tended to. I'd yet to feel anything since I saw the physical manifestation of what had already happened a year ago.

Suddenly, a hissing rang through the castle, but it felt as though it was playing in my head. Draco heard it too, and covered his ears, but I just stood still.

You have fought valiantly- but in vain. I do not wish this. Every drop of magical blood spilt is a terrible waste. I therefore command all my forces to retreat. When they are absent, dispose of your dead with dignity.

Harry Potter. I now speak directly to you. On this night, you have allowed your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. There is no greater dishonor. Join me in the forbidden forest and confront your fate. If you do not do this I shall kill every last man, woman, and child who tries to conceal you from me.

Voldemort's words rang through our ears. I had no reaction.

"I don't get you," he said. "I mean all year you've been this person...I don't know her."

"What do you mean?"

"Who is that girl who flashed her dark mark in front of the whole train compartment? I don't know her. Come to think of it- who is that girl who willingly got the dark mark?"

"You're one to talk," I said. "How long have you been a death eater, Draco?"

"That's different and you know it," he said. "I didn't have a choice!"

"Neither did I!"

"Yes you did, Grace! I made sure of it!" he screamed. "I was supposed to be Voldemort's golden child! Not you! He trusted me with the assignment!"

"An assignment you couldn't do!" I reminded him. "You're not cut out for this life, Draco!"

"Don't tell me what I'm capable of!"

"And don't tell me what I can't do!" I screamed back. "You are so blinded by an image of who you feel like you're supposed to be that you can't see who you really are! You are not an assassin! You're not a soldier! You're not a death eater! You are not the right hand man to some dark lord!"

"And you are?!"

"No! But I am a liar!" I screamed. And silence settled in. "Which is one more thing you're not! I'm a liar! I'm a manipulator! I'm a cheater! I am the daughter of a good-for-nothing traitor! You say you don't know who I am? It's because I don't even know who I am! I could be what Voldemort needed, and you couldn't, because I have no problem stabbing people in the back. It's in my blood, Draco. I'm a Snape. I'm him!"

I was terrified of myself.

"For four years I've been unable to stay in the same bloody house! I've been with Cedric when I wanted to be with you- even with you while I was still with Cedric. I've been with Harry while I longed for you. I fought your father in the ministry of magic and turned around and let him believe my loyalty was with him! I've been helping Neville lead Dumbledore's Army all year, and I didn't tell you, or Jane, or Blaise a damn thing! While they suffered beatings and torture because they did the right thing, I get to flash my dark mark around, remind people who my father is, and get away with anything! I've been a spy for Voldemort, a spy for Dumbledore, a spy for Harry, a spy for DA, just like my father was, when all I wanted was you!"

I took a breath.

"But I can take it, Draco. I can be a shitty person so easily. I can betray people in a heartbeat and not feel a drop of remorse. I can break someone's heart for my own selfish gain. Every lie, every cheat, every twisted game I played, every vow I made...that was him. I've been reminding people all year that I'm not my father...but I am. And you...are too golden of a person to be able to do something like that and not feel the weight of the consequences. But I...I am my father's daughter."

I shuddered at myself. I am who I hate. I did what he did, I acted how he acted. And now that he's gone, I am all that's left of who he was, and I'm the spitting image.

Suddenly, one of the walls started rotating. When it rotated completely, it revealed a wall with a shelf that held several vials, and some kind of sink-looking thing.

"What the hell is that?" I said.

"A pensieve," Draco said. He walked over the shelf and picked up a vial- the only vial that was full. "It has your name on it."

"What?" I walked over to the shelf to see a small vial that did in fact have my name on it.

"What is this thing? How does it work?"

"Grace...this is...these are his memories." I scoffed.

"I'm done. Let's go." Draco grabbed my hand.

"This is what he wanted you to know."

"I don't want to know anything!"

"Grace, listen to me!" he said, grabbing my shoulders. "I don't know what you're gonna see. Ok? I don't. But you...you made me see who I am. You forced your way in and showed me who I am. And now you're...horrified with yourself because you're realizing who you are. And I just feel like...maybe if you look at whatever he left you..I don't know...maybe you'll find that you're not as much of him as you thought you were. Maybe you'll see who you are."

Who am I?

That's the question, isn't it? As a bastard child, growing up with no father, a part of me always wondered who I was. Then when my mom abandoned me and I finally learned who my father was and about this whole wizarding world I never knew about, I began to hope it was all coming together. I began to hope that learning I was a witch would help me figure out who I was. I finally got a sense. I was a Snape, a Hogwarts student, and a Slytherin. I was Jane Baldwin's best friend, Cedric Diggory's girlfriend, and Draco Malfoy's secret. I was a quidditch player, then a Gryffindor. I was Hermione's friend, and Harry's girlfriend, and an original member of Dumbledore's army. I was a persistent fighter, an unapologetic advocate for Harry and his cause. I had gone back between loving and hating my dad. I had been taken under Dumbledore's wing. I was the daughter of a traitor. I was Voldemort's secret right hand man. I was a death eater. I was Draco Malfoy's Fiance. I was a secret member of Dumbledore's army again. I was friends with Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and Ginny Weasley. I was Hermione's secret penpal. And most recently, a liar, a manipulator, and a Snape. How could all those things be simultaneously true?

Who am I?

I'd give anything for a straight answer. So I poured the vile into the pensieve, and fell into my father's memories.