The Dark Days

Chapter 43

When I woke up in the morning the evening's events hit me full force and I suddenly didn't feel like leaving my bed anymore. I would much rather just avoid everything by not letting anyone into my room and not leaving the comforting confines of my bed. But, a knock on the door interrupted my whole plan. Leaving the knock unanswered, I rolled over and willed my body to fall back asleep.

"Peyton?" I had unlocked the door before going to bed in case of emergency, but now I was really wishing I hadn't. As I heard the door open I closed my eyes, hoping to seem to be asleep still.

"Peyton, are you awake?" The opposite side of the bed sunk down under the weight of Louis sitting down before he reached over and grabbed my hand, my eyes fluttering open to feign waking up.

"Morning Louis." I looked away but allowed him to keep my hand in his.

"I really feel bad about snapping at you last night and don't want to anger you further, so I just wanted to come and apologize. Please don't hold last night against me, Ashton just has a way to get under my skin so I was in a bad mood and didn't mean to take it out on you."

"It's okay, I understand that he makes you mad." I kept my eyes trained on the window as Louis lay down beside me, our hands still linked together, lying between us.

"It's really not; I should be able to control myself better than that. I guess I've changed a lot in the past two years, and most of it was not good changes." He sighed loudly, squeezing my hand slightly. I looked over at him and saw him looking down at our hands with a smile on his face. This brought a matching smile to my face and I squeezed his hand, returning his gesture.

"Louis, it's really fine."

"Do you miss the old me?" His question caught me off guard, and I wasn't quite sure that I had an actual answer.

"Well, sure I do. I miss the old me too." His face fell slightly, looking upset with himself. "But, this new you is a challenge. I mean that in a good way though. It feels like I get to meet a new person, but while I learn everything about this new person I notice things that haven't changed. For instance, you have tattoos now and I will eventually get you to tell me the story behind each and every one of them. But, I remember how much you used to love holding hands, and I don't think that has changed, now has it?" He smiled and his cheeks reddened slightly as he shook his head.

"I was afraid you would hate the new me when we met again. I didn't want to scare you away because I am the same nice and caring person you've always known. But now I have a hard outer shell and have survived through many obstacles and have some secrets. You'll find them out in time." We shared a smile before I shifted, letting go of his hand as I turned my back to him so I could lie down on my left side, once again facing the window.

"Where do you think you're going? Get over here." His laughter was music in my ears as his strong arm wrapped around my stomach and pulled my body backwards. I landed below his arm, flat on my back, and the arm that had pulled me here was resting across my body still. His fingers drew random patterns and swirls on the exposed skin of my left hip.

"Louis, will you tell me something?

""Anything." I took a deep breath, contemplating which of the hundreds of questions that are running through my head to ask.

"What feelings do you have for me, if any?" I let out a deep breath before turning to look at me, so close that our noses were almost touching.

"Well, I think we have feelings like we are friends or siblings, like that kind of relationship. I care about you like a best friend or a little sister. But, at the same time I still have feelings for you in a more than that way. The feelings from high school, when we were together, are still a part of me." I smiled and kept eye contact with him. "How do you feel about me?"

"Well I have those same friendship and sibling feelings that you have. I care for you like the older brother I never had. I still have a lot of the feelings from when we dated, and I highly doubt that those are going to go away any time soon. But I don't know how to feel about you today. That may not make sense, but what I mean is that I don't know if I should have feelings about being more than friends right now or not. I'm not sure Louis." He nodded, taking it all in.

"Maybe this will help." My eyebrows were drawn together in confusion until Louis closed his eyes and leaned forward, gently kissing me. I didn't respond immediately but after a few moments, once the shock went away, I snapped my eyes closed and kissed back.

It was a simple kiss, yet it had so many feelings behind it. My mind went whirling through all of the old memories of Louis and I, back in high school. I loved him back then, and he had loved me too. We had barely ever used that word, making it have just that much more meaning. When we pulled away from the kiss I kept my eyes closed and slumped back into the pillow. His lips returned to me, kissing my cheek just faintly.

"I really miss being us. I'm going to try my hardest to change back into the old me that you know. But, for now, I'd like you to think about giving us another shot. I know we haven't gotten much time together, but that's all I want you to do, think about it; for me. Please just think about it. I don't want your answer now, but whenever you decide just tell me." I nodded, leaving my eyes closed still.

"I've got to go soon, I have to work today. Niall and I will probably be gone most of the day again, so don't worry about us for dinner." He spoke again.

"Why hasn't Zayn been working recently?" I was confused as to why Louis and Niall were always going in to work but Zayn hasn't.

"Well, the three of us own a business, but Zayn is more of a silent partner. His family has a lot of money and he had most of the money we needed when we started up. He also owns this house. We paid our way into the business once we started earning money, but he never let us pay our full thirds of the company. Technically he owns more of the company than Niall and me, but the agreement is that he won't have to work as much since he was our startup funds. And, we both have given him some reimbursement for living here, which he has never seemed to mind. He told us he hated living alone anyway." Louis answered my question, and many more that I had left unsaid.

"If it was his house first how come you have the whole upstairs basically to yourself?" It all was very confusing. Zayn owned more of the business but didn't have to work; Zayn owned the house (mostly) but didn't have the large upstairs as his living area?

"Well, before Niall and I moved in it was just him, so he didn't have a use for the upstairs, the maids kept it clean, but he didn't need to be all the way up here when there was bedrooms and everything else he uses downstairs." I nodded in understanding, finally getting the picture.

"You better get ready for work. Don't keep Niall waiting; you know how impatient he is!" Louis got a chuckle out of that before murmuring an agreement and standing up from the bed. Before the leaving the room he leaned down over the bed and gave me one last, lingering kiss on my lips, just a simple peck really.

"Louis?" I stopped him as he was climbing out of the bed.

"Yes?" The look in his eyes as he turned around was the look I used to see.; the one full of admiration and pure content.

"Just so you know, I don't want you to change. I want you to be you. Please don't change yourself into something you're not for me. I want to see Louis for who Louis really is now." He nodded, smiled, and got up from the bed, leaving the room soon after.