Irregular (mlm)

Chapter 17

Kai laid down in his corner with his wolf stuffie between his front paws. His heart was pounding and his mind was racing.

His heat had faded but it was replaced with another form of torture: anxiety. He could usually ignore it by daydreaming or sleeping, but neither would work now. He was too tense to sleep and all of his daydreams would be of things he knew he couldn't have which would make him think about why he couldn't have them.

His father. The person who had created him and would most likely destroy him. Destroy anyone that got in the way of his plans.

Kai started to lick his paw, trying to soothe himself. He'd gotten into the habit when he was only a pup, and his father hated it. He'd been punished for it so badly he stopped all together and found other ways to deal with his anxiety, but he couldn't do those ways here. He couldn't claw up the walls or pace around. He was a guest in Owens home and there were neighbors downstairs that would hear his constant pacing.

He thought he'd been able to escape his anxiety when he left the warehouse. Turns out it was just waiting to be able to catch him when he was least expecting it. He should've figured.

Now that it had caught him, everything was making his mind race a mile a minute. He had the constant feeling of dread in his chest, like the feeling you get when someone watches you, and his entire body was crawling with tiny bugs that left tingles where they walked. He hated this feeling.

He didn't know what to do. He hated not knowing what to do.

If he mated Owen, their bond would be stronger. That's just what his father wants. On the other hand, Owen had a point. He'd want to protect Owen whether they mated or not. And he was right about having limited time. Kai didn't know how long he'd be around, whether he died or his father took him back, and he wanted to spend his time with Owen. But it would only hurt him more if they got closer and Kai was suddenly taken from him.

Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why couldn't he have been born into a normal family?

Why couldn't he have been raised in a town with other wolves in his pack, going to school and protecting his sister from bullies like in books? He would've been able to have his mom and make friends. He would've met Owen in a better way. Like at school or maybe randomly in a park. Hell, he would've taken getting arrested by him as their first meeting.

He whined and ignored the burn of the muscles in his tongue as they grew tired. Why wasn't this working? It had always helped before.

He just went faster.

When his tongue felt like it was going to fall off, he felt a pair of hands gently lift his head. "Hey, you're going to lick yourself raw."

Kai pushed his ears back, almost expecting Owen to scold him for licking too much. But he didn't.

Instead, he sat beside him and gently stroked from his nose to between his ears, then did it again. It was oddly calming.

He closed his eyes and soon enough his heart was no longer racing and he had relaxed to lay against Owens leg. After a while of Owen petting him gently, he sat up and shifted. He didn't know why he felt like he needed to be in human form at that moment, but he did. He'd never felt the need to be in human form unless he was needing to talk.

Owen smiled softly and put his arm around him, hugging him close. "I know it's scary, but I want you to know that no matter what happens, we'll protect each other. I'm not going to force you into anything, and if you don't want to accept the mate bond I understand, but at least think more on it okay? Don't make a decision purely based on fear."