Passione small talk ☆

216 8 1
                                    

For my lovely friend Kimora <3
(More of a Mista, Fugo, Narancia, and Giorno thing but I still hope you like it 😄🫶🏽)

🧾

Passione small talk : Political Candidate Mista

"I mean... seriously—" He paused to take a big mouthful of his food. "Who reahlly lhikehs pholihtihcs?? Thahts jhusht fohr bhorihn people who ahr ahble to vhote." He smacked loudly. I was worried I'd get meatball on my face. "Mista... you're legally able to vote." His head swished to look at me. Surprised, like he didn't know you had to be 18 or older to vote for an political candidate.

"Shuht uhp (f/n)!!! Nohbhodys tahlkihn to yoh!!" He swallowed his food and kept talking. "As I was saying. Really, who likes that boring crap! Whatever, I'm able to vote as (f/n) says, I'm not boring! That's our blatantly obvious difference! And it's not like these bitches force people to vote anyways!" I took an orange that was in a bowl of fruits in front of me. I started to peel the skins and chimed in.

"You'll get annoying ass post cards until the election telling you to vote tho." I don't really like politics myself, I really leave that to the old people. "Well Mista... I'd just pick the one you thinks cuter!" I looked over at Narancia, who was smiling although that sentence made him sound like he had 0 iq. "I'm not gonna rank men who're in their late 60's man!" I laughed and bit into a serving of my orange.

"Well, what if I wasn't the one receiving the post cards... and I was the one SENDING THEM!" I looked over at Fugo, who was giving me the same look. "Dude I don't think the president, or the person running for president, gives out those post cards. I mean... why would the potentially future president, who clearly has other things to do, worry about dumbass postcards to annoy voters?" I licked some orange juice that had sprayed out from my bite off my lip.

"Well? With ME! Guido Mista, as a presidential candidate, I'd take time to do that kinda stuff! To make the voters love ME more than some old guy!" I thought about it for a second. "While also doing various paperwork, being technically famous, being on the news all the time, still focusing on the ads and posters, annnnd doing speeches?? I bet those would come after LOSING the election!"

Mista gave me a nasty glare. "Shut upppp!!! I wouldn't lose! I'm too awesome to lose!! I'd be so awesome, people's kids would wanna vote for me!" Fugo snickered. "Yeah, to give out free toys and spend the nations savings." Mista slammed his hands on the table and i bursted out laughing. He was really taking this seriously.

"Don't you have to like........ make laws and look after the country or somethin? Although a new race car toy would be pretty cool. With the president's signature on it. Woaaahhhh...." Mista grinned and looked back at me and Fugo. "See?! Someone agrees with me!! Kinda!!" I shrugged, taking another serving of my orange.

"But what Narancia said, you need to make laws and protect the country. You think your sex pistols are gonna protect the entire nation?" He took another bite from his plate, large as always.

"Wehll, ohbiouhsly nhot. Bhut fohr lawhs..... uhh.." I tried to contain my laugh. "No smacking at the table." Narancia giggled with me. "What!! No stop!!" Giorno noticed us talking and chimed in quick.

"Mista think fast.. the vice president informs you that the country's drug use is rising and appears to be in younger people, let's say... 13-18, the average range. And one person in particular was the cause? Would you... A, try to reduce the use of drug usage all together, B, try to track down the cause of these rising numbers, or C, try and find a way to reduce the use of drugs in the age group provided only, in attempt to lower the numbers? Mind you, drug usage will still be in effect."

Mista's jaw hung low, practically everyone in Bucciarati's gang was in the room, awaiting his response. "I'll give you a small hint. There's nothing wrong wi—" I cut him off. "Let him think goddammit!! He's the "president" right??" Mista looked back up at everyone, a sense of confidence in him. "I'd pick B! It's totally irrational to pick A, right?"

"He has a point. It'd take his whole serving time to solve the entire world's drug usage." Fugo implied and Mista nodded affirmatively. "Seeeee?? I sound smart now don't I? B sounds like the only actually reasonable answer, why not just open an investigation to find the person?" He stretched and yawned, slouching in his chair.

"There's good and bads to that. Think about it... do you know how long it'll take to find the culprit of this? Better yet, would you ever find them?" Mista's eyes slowly widened. "In conclusion, it was a trick question. The utmost thing to do is ask for further details and go from there, in my personal opinion." Giorno walked away not long after.

"Uggghh!! Why don't you run to be the goddamn fuckin president?!" Mista closed his eyes as he stood still in his chair. "You know I'd win if I did Mista!"

"Shut upppp!!!!!" He went back to eating his food stubbornly, even though it was cold at this point, and everything went back to how nonchalant it normally is.

(Mainly jojo) writingWhere stories live. Discover now