Struggling Love | Ross x gn!reader

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ XXIV

I am so freaking tired istg- anyway, it's summer break :D so.. I'll try my best to upload more often 👍

Anyway, probably won't be adding a song, not because I don't have any songs left on my playlist, but becauseim lazy
But if I did add a song, rate it here

??/10

Warning: mentions of a panic attack, bullying, slurs, mentions of wounds, mentions of blood

Enjoy :)

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December 4th 2022

Sunday

My eyes shot open to see trees all around me

"Are you fucking kidding me." I whined, getting up as I looked around

"I won't fall for your tricks, I know I didn't fall asleep in the woods." I stood up, looking around with furrowed brows

"ᵒʰ, ⁱ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈⁿᵗ ᶠᵃˡˡ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ. ʸᵒᵘʳᵉ ᵗᵒᵒ ᶜˡᵉᵃᵛᵉʳ, ⁱ ʲᵘˢᵗ ʷᵃⁿᵗᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ˢʰᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ ˢᵒᵐᵉ ᵐᵉᵐᵒʳⁱᵉˢ." It whispered, I rolled my eyes

"Whatever you show me won't phase me, you've already shown me how many times I was close to death as a child, what else do you have to show me?" I questioned looking around. It chuckled

"ᵒʰ, ⁱᵐ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ˢʰᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ ᵇᵃᵈ ᵐᵉᵐᵒʳⁱᵉˢ. ⁱᵐ ᵍᵒⁿⁿᵃ ˢʰᵒʷ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵒʷ ᵐᵘᶜʰ ʸᵒᵘᵛᵉ ˡᵒˢᵗ." It said, before I could say anything I started to feel dizzy as the scenery around me shifted

As I regained my vision I looked around to see multiple stage props, fake plants, make up stations, outfit racks, the list goes on

I was in my old middle school. Was this that one play that we had in third grade? If so, then... Didn't Raeburn have a panic attack?

My eyes widened as I ran out of the backstage area, phasing through the kids and teachers as I reached my middle schools hallway

I looked around, looking at the familiar posters and decorations, smiling to myself as I did. The hallway was empty, and I mean empty as in no teachers nor kids were here

But, a little Raeburn had his hands buried in his blonde curls, tears streaming down his face as he breathed heavily. He was in his Mad Hatter costume, and yes we were doing an Alice in wonderland play

His hat was on the floor and his clothes were wrinkled up

It was painful seeing him like this, it really was. The last time I remember him having a panic attack was when the first day of highschool came. He's been a lot better since then

My younger self rushed through me, I was dressed up in my white rabbit costume. I went down on my knees to reach Raeburn's level as I tried not to get too close to his personal space

"Raeburn, calm down- look at me." I tried to calm him down, but it obviously wasn't working. Raeburn looked up at me with bloodshot eyes

"Try and match my breathing. Okay?" I asked, my hands up in the air as to not invade his personal space. He nodded, continuing to breathe heavily

I slowly snaked my hands to his shoulders, "Breathe in." I said, breathing in through my nose. Raeburn copied, except his breaths were more shaky and he breathed in through his mouth. "Breathe out." I said, breathing out through my mouth. Raeburn copied, his breaths still shaky