Keeping Up with The Jocks (boy x boy)

Part 10

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Apol's POV

They say, "Once trust is broken, we often experience tremendous anxiety and resentment, which can create a wall between ourselves and our partners. We might withdraw from those close to us and feel quite lonely." In my case, that point is here right now. What happened last night was solely my decision, and I have to stand firm by it. If he can't trust me anymore, how are we supposed to thrive in this relationship? 

right? 

I've always been somewhat of an amateur when it comes to handling relationships—impulsive, and unpredictable. But one thing I do value is trust. I had already reassured Elliot that I had no knowledge of TJ getting recruited in Balboa. We even seemed to have settled it, and reached a place of understanding. Yet, last night, he brought it up again. Why can't he trust me on this?

I even stayed loyal to him even though TJ was near me. 

Arrrrg!  I hate this part right here!

The sinking feeling in my chest confirms that breaking up with someone is not easy to deal with, it fucking sucks. It's heavier than When we lose matches. The weight of uncertainty and lost connections presses down on me, and I can't seem to shake it off.

But what I hate the most is the aftermath—the lingering anxiety that gnaws at me. 

Where is he now? 

Did he make it home safe?  

He tends to be impulsive and do whatever he wants, drive his bike carelessly, go to a bar get as drunk as he can be. 

Well shit, Why am I still checking on him? He thinks I can't be trusted.. so it's only fair.

right? 

TJ is just watching me, I can sense him observing me while I overthink again in bed. This is embarrassing. 

TJ's POV

I witnessed it all and heard every word...

It was because of me. Living under the same roof with Apol sparked a blaze in their relationship.

Well, for what it's worth, I lied.

From the beginning, I knew that Apol was going to the Balboa Bay Volleyball Club. I knew it when he was getting interviewed way back in Utah. That was the moment I made my decision. I turned down most of the offers I got from recruiters back then, except for the full scholarship to UCLA. But I accepted Balboa's offer to play under their U17 team for the summer because I knew Apol would be there.

And by the time we were done with Balboa, my training for UCLA for college-level volleyball would start.

So yes, I went to Balboa for him. I went to chase him, fully aware that he was with that fool Elliot.

You might ask, what am I feeling right now about what happened to their relationship?

I'm glad it ended.

I'm happy but also afraid. Happy because Apol stood up for himself. From what I heard earlier, he doesn't want Elliot to doubt him, especially when he's displayed nothing but loyalty to him. Even around me, and my intentional flirt schemes.

I'm afraid because if Apol is capable of making such a difficult decision, what if he does the same with me when we start dating?

Standing from the back of our door, listening to the whole scene unfold, I felt a mixture of relief and apprehension. Relief because the obstacle between us was now gone. Apprehension because the same strength Apol showed in ending things with Elliot could be turned on me if I ever crossed a line.

I can't help but feel responsible for their breakup. It was my presence, my calculated moves, that pushed them to this point. But I can't deny the selfish part of me that's thrilled. I chased Apol, knowing it could blow up in my face, and now I have a chance to be with him.

But what about Apol? He's hurting, and I know I won't be able to cheer him up right away. I think it will be enough just to be around him when he tries to move on from their breakup. To offer silent support, to be the steady presence he needs right now.

I find Apol sitting on his bed, staring blankly at the wall of our dorm. I can see the turmoil in his eyes, the heavy burden of his decision weighing him down.

"Hey," I say softly, sitting down next to him.

He looks at me, and I can see the struggle in his expression. "Hey."

"How are you holding up?" I ask, even though I know the answer.

"I don't know," he admits, his voice raw. "It hurts, but I know I did the right thing."

I nod, understanding. "You did. Trust is everything, and if he couldn't trust you, then it was never going to work."

He sighs, leaning back. "I just... I wish it didn't have to be this way."

"I know," I say, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "But you'll get through this. And I'll be here, every step of the way."

Apol gives me a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks, TJ. It means a lot."

As we sit there in silence, I feel a sense of hope. Maybe this is the start of something new for both of us. Maybe, just maybe, we can build something stronger, something based on trust and understanding.

But for now, I'll be his friend, his support, and when the time is right, I'll be there to catch him if he ever decides to take that leap with me.

Apol's POV

I sat there, feeling the weight of the night pressing down on me. Every word from the argument with Elliot echoed in my mind, each one cutting deeper than the last. The guilt, the pain, the anxiety—it was all-consuming. But through the haze of my emotions, TJ's presence beside me was a small comfort. He didn't have to say much; just being there was enough.

TJ asked how I was holding up, and I gave him the most honest answer I could. "I don't know," I admitted. "It hurts, but I know I did the right thing."

As we sat in silence, I couldn't help but replay the events of the last few weeks. How everything spiraled out of control. I had moved to Balboa Bay for the opportunity of a lifetime, and it felt like everything else had fallen apart as soon as I got here. I thought Elliot and I were solid. I thought he trusted me. But it turns out, trust was the one thing we lacked the most.

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Author's Note

Hi, I'm officially back!! 

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