Cupid's Admirer | Jilix

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Felix was left there with a jittery feeling. The kiss was everything he was wishing for but he didnt think he was good enough for that specific boy to be doing that with him.

He walked back to his room and laid on his bed think about the previous activity, the moment replaying multiple times before he snapped himself back to reality.

"I'm not good enough for him, he deserves so much better. He needs someone who treats him nicely, someone who's better looking, someone who's skilled and good at everything the way he is. He needs someone who can care for him. I don't fit into any of that. I cant do anything to make him feel loved and give him what he deserves. He probably doesn't even like me back. The kiss probably meant nothing to him."

Felix came to a conclusion, sitting up and grabbing a sharp object and using it to cut his skin. Feeling worthless was all he felt since he couldn't do anything and had no hope of getting his crush because of his skill, looks, and personality.

More cuts littered his forearm and thighs as he was crying. He hated how he wasn't good enough for anyone. More and more cuts were on his body in less than two minutes.

The blue haired boy lifted the knife up to his neck before sobbing and dropping it on the ground. He knew he wasn't capable of doing it but the thought still lingered in his head like it did for years on end.

Felix had enough of everything and grabbed his sketchbook to start drawing in hopes to get his mind off of everything. He drew a few graffiti related things before coloring it in and putting it on his wall, this process taking him a total of four hours.

He had a wall fulled with his past graffiti drawings and sketches since hes always been interested in the form of art. He loved the messy looking form of art and the way it could be so fun to make. He loved the beautiful colors included to make the simple drawing possible. Everything about it was satisfying and relaxing to him.

As he was putting his drawing on the wall, he saw his forearm before thinking again "you cut for the stupidest reason. It wasn't even that serious. It just shows how stupid you are. No wonder no one likes you or even wants you. Go back to meeting up with San, he'll knock some sense into you."

Felix told himself, knowing he was going to do it. He wanted someone to do something to make him realize how stupid every one of his cuts were. How stupid they looked. How stupid the situation was for him to cut himself.

He knew San would do all of that and add some more pain to his life but that's what he wanted since he wasnt worth anything according to himself.