We Made It

14. (Harry's POV)

I wasn't scared.

Well I was but not in the sense Louis thought.

I wanted to tell him everything but I knew it would hurt him. He's never been good at hiding what he feels. When he feels hurt or betrayed his face gives him away. When he feels happy or upset his actions speak louder than any words.

THAT is why I keep things to myself. He has a very bad temper which is why I was reluctant to say who hit me. He loses himself sometimes. Like when he was punching Niall. I tried to stop him...pull him back but I couldn't. He wouldn't stop for even me.

When he threw my phone down on the table and yelled those words at me I knew he was hurt. I also knew that I had to let him get it out. He had to yell and get all the hurt out. I knew I should have told him about Niall but it honestly meant nothing to me. I had been so swept up in my relationship with Louis that I had forgotten Niall even kissed me. It's not like it was deep or anything it was just a few pecks here and there. Apparently it meant more to Niall. He told me he had feelings for me and when I said I didn't have them back he got upset. He said I used him until I got Louis and that I wasn't good enough for Louis. I told him he was wrong and then he shoved me against a wall so I pushed him back and then he hit me.

I'm laying on Louis chest staring at absolutely nothing. He was stroking my hair but he stopped when he fell asleep. I dozed off towards the end of the Notebook but woke up during the other movie. His breathing had slowed so I knew he was asleep. I draw patterns across his chest as I reflect on everything.

"Boo. I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep secrets. I just don't like to see you hurt. I love you Louis and I always have. I wish you could see how much I've hurt myself...emotionally to keep you from hurting." I whisper the words and kiss his chest.

His bedroom door opens and I see Daisy and Pheobe in the doorway.

"Harry?" Daisy calls.

"Louis?" Phoebe whispers.

I untangle myself and walk over to them. "Shh." I put my finger over my lips. "Boo is asleep. Whats wrong sweets?"

"Bad dream."

I pick them both up. "Want me to play for you?"

They nod. I knew Louis normally played piano for them to fall back asleep. Seeing as it was still dark out the windows I knew they were still supposed to be sleeping. I sat them on the couch in the music room and tucked a blanket around each of them. I cracked the door so hopefully the others wouldn't wake up. Fizzy and Lottie always slept with calming crap playing waves or birds or whatever. Jay and Mark were downstairs so I didn't think it would wake them.

"Any requests?" I sit at the piano.

"The Narnia song."

I think about it. I've seen Louis play it. I think I remember it. I've never really played for anyone but these two. Everything I learned on piani love the Narnia movies so I know which song they want.

"Let's see if I can play that one yeah?"

I start the melody and sang the first verse to them.

"It started out as a feeling which then grew into a hope. Which then turned into a quiet thought. Which then turned into a quiet word. And then that word grew louder and louder til it was a battle cry. I'll come back when you call me...no need to say goodbye."

Their eyes were closed and they had little smiles on their faces.

"Just because everything's changing doesn't mean it's never been this way before. All you can do is try to know who your friends are as you head off to the war."

I see the door open and Jackson pokes his head in. He motions for me to continue as he sits on the floor by the couch. The girls are almost asleep now. Their breathing is slower and I can see their bodies are more relaxed.

"Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light. You'll come back when it's over no need to say goodbye. You'll come back when it's over no need to say goodbye..."

I fumble over the piano solo but Jackson just smiles and mouths that I'm doing good. I don't think I am. I'm so focused on my fingers finding the right keys that I don't see the boy leaning against the doorway...until he starts singing.

"Now we're back to the beginning. It's just a feeling and no one knows yet but just because they can't feel it too doesn't mean that you have to forget." He walks to the piano and sits next to me.

"Let your memories grow stronger and stronger til they're before your eyes. You'll come back when they call you no need to say goodbye. You'll come back when they call you...No need to say goodbye."

We finish the song singing together. Jackson and Louis both clap as silently as they can.

"Harry I didn't know you played!" Jackson whispers as he comes up to us.

"I didn't know either." Louis looks at me surprised. "And so well."

I look down. "I just picked it up from watching you."

He smiles as he kisses my head. We get up and walk to Louis room so we don't wake the girls. Lou and I sit on his bed while Jackson sits at his desk chair.

"Lou. Can I borrow your boyfriend for the day?"

I look at Jackson in shock. What? Borrow me? I look to Louis and he nods.

"What you got planned?"

Jackson shrugs. "Harry get dressed. We're going for a walk. Now." He stands up and leaves the room.

"Lou. What is he planning?"

"No idea."

I dress in shorts and a tank top with my converse. After hugging Louis and a kiss goodbye I meet Jackson downstairs. He passes me a bottle of water and grabs the spare key locking the door behind us.

"Where are we going?" I question him.

"To face some demons. Do you trust me Harry?"

I squeeze my eyebrows together. "Yes."

"Good. Let's go face some demons then."

I follow him as he walks down the roads like he's lived here his whole life. Suddenly I'm nervous at what he has planned but oddly anxious and excited as well.

Facing demons.

I can do this.

I think.