We Made It

26. (Harry's POV)

"Okay so Louis owns 51% and I own 49% correct?"

I look across the desk at none other than Nick Grimshaw.

He nods. "Yes. Larry's is now primarily owned by Louis. All executive decisions and should anything happen to you he will be the one to get everything."

"Good. And personal bank accounts he's on there as well?"

"Yes the beneficiary if something happens. Harry. I don't mean to pry but have you talked to Louis at all about this?"

I shake my head. "No. This is just a precaution."

He stands and walks past me closing his door. He sits down in a chair next to me and turns my chair to face him. "Harry. We weren't friends per say and we lost touch but...I am close to Niall and he tells me things."

I scoff. "You're bed buddies Nick. You keep the others bed warm."

"Touche. But I was going to say if you need someone closer distance wise I'm around. He's in Doncaster but I'm here. I'm a great listener."

"It's not going away." I sigh and sniffle.

His hand is on my shoulder. "Niall told me. Have you told Louis?"

"No." I whisper and shake my head. "I can't."

"You should. If you're doing this...sitting here...you should. Niall said you're adopting a baby. Harry he deserves to know."

"The last time I told him anything about it he locked himself in our bedroom."

"There's always an option he'll do that again but would you rather him lock a door for a few minutes or an evening rather than cut everyone out of his life forever if he loses you?"

I look at him and he's staring at me with those eyes. He's willing me to see it from that point of view. I shake my head. "He wouldn't cut everyone off."

He scoffs. "He would. You know he would. Look if you don't tell him for any other reason...tell him for that baby Harry. Because if this goes down it won't be just Louis losing you...that child will lose you too."

I shake my head and tell him I can't. Again. His phone rings and he says his next appointment is here and he's already 15 minutes late. He types his number into my phone and tells me to call or text if I need someone to talk to. I thank him and leave his office.

I get on the highway and drive to my next appointment at the doctor's office. I've been getting a scan every once in a while to keep an eye on my head. Yoga. Meditation. Herbal remedies to keep it at bay. I even tried acupuncture. I've still had migraines but the prescription medication keeps that at bay. It's not getting better. It hasn't grown but it's still there. It still exists. I hate it.

I've wanted to tell him so many times but I keep remembering that first time. He broke down. He locked himself in our bedroom. He wouldn't open the door. I was losing him. I had come to him because I knew he'd keep me safe. He always had. He was my home...my safe place. I wanted him to hold me instead he ran away heartbroken. I was heartbroken too. I'm still scared. I didn't want the surgery. There were risks. After I had talked him into opening the door we held onto each other like our lives depended on it.

They do.

I sigh and look at the ultrasound picture on my sun visor. I smile and run my finger over it. It's a boyyyy it says. We've talked about a few names. Ethan. Toby. Theo. Jason. We were stuck on those. I know Nick is right. I should tell Louis but...I'm scared he will react the same way he did before. Nick was also right that he wouldn't be the only one to lose me. I slam my car door and kick my tire.