We Made It

29.

I hate hospitals.

They're cold. They have a weird smell. Everything takes for fucking ever. The food sucks.

"Louis. Come on sit down. I got you some water." Liam shoves a bottle of water in my hand and places his hands on my shoulder.

I allow him to guide me into a chair. I also hated sitting still. Especially now.

It has been 4 weeks since we left Niall's apartment. Harry and I had talked...well kind of. We yelled. Slammed doors. I slept on the couch. We had make up sex. The process happened over and over until we agreed. He would have the surgery. There were complications that could arise but when the alternative was it rupturing and killing him permanently I didn't see how anything could be worse. I would not lose Harry. I refused. So here we are. He's been in surgery for 2 hours now.

"I hate hospitals." I mumble as I open my water.

"Yes you've said that." Liam sighs. "They said it would take a while. I'm going to go get some food."

"I hate hospital food." I tell him.

"Which is why I'm getting takeaway from Hanna at the Cafe. Z. Watch him." He kisses Zayne on his head then I watch him walk out the doors.

I try to stand up again but two sets of hands grab me...one on each arm.

"No pacing Lou." Zayne.

"You're making me dizzy Rocky." Lottie.

I groan and lean my head on the wall behind me. I hate hospitals.

"You'd hate losing H more." Zayne puts his arm around my shoulder. I hadn't realized I'd said that out loud. "It was either sit in a hospital for however long this takes or lose him forever. You chose the option you could live with."

"He'll be okay right?" I look up at him.

"With everything you've been through. You're both stronger than you know."

I close my eyes and curl my feet under me in the chair. Zayne tightens his arm around me and starts humming a random song. I must have fallen asleep because my back and legs are numb and tingling when I move and new voices have been added to our group.

"How is he holding up?" Anne.

"My boo." Mum.

"Mum." I whisper and open my eyes. I get up and sit next to her. "I hate hospitals."

She wraps her arms around me and kisses my head. "Boo. I know you just want to take it all from him and protect him. You've done good at that."

I shake my head. "He's still here."

"You've been his strength baby. You've been his secret keeper. You've been his shoulder to lean on. You've been his friend. You've been his boyfriend. You've been his protector. You've been his everything. He's also been all of that for you. He's in there fighting for you Boo."

I sniffle and wipe my eyes with my hands. I don't say anything else. I just let her hold me. Liam gets back and has enough food to feed the entire hospital it seems. I can't eat. I just sit and stare at my food. I move it around and pick at it. They're all making conversations but I can feel their eyes on me.

I hate hospitals. I hate that I can't be in there with him. I hate that I don't know what's happening.

"Louis." A new voice. I look up at the doctor.

"Hi. This is Harry's mum." I look at Anne on my right while my mum is on my left.

"Hello. He's out of surgery." I exhale not realizing I was holding my breath. "He did well. We are just waiting for him to wake up."