We Made It

16.

It was almost my birthday.

3 1/2 weeks.

19.

A couple more months Harry would be 16. He already took the driving test and got his permit. I went home almost every weekend and sometimes he'd drive us here and back. It used a lot of gas but it was worth it. He had changed a bit. Well not really changed just found himself...who he was. He found his dominant side and fuck it was hot. That day at the park he had told me everything. I never knew the names people called him. I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks. He has finals coming up and so do I. His are easier I'd rather deal with maths or geography or english rather than mine. It was strictly a musical program. The notes and musical history and instruments I could handle...easy. My final though I couldn't.

WRITE AND PREFORM AN ORIGINAL SONG IN THE END OF SEMESTER CONCERT.

I couldn't do that.

I'm sitting in Mr J's classroom waiting for him to come back. He's been a huge help. It's his class that I had to write songs in. I'd never written anything myself before so this was all new. He says I did good but I'd also never had to preform any of them. They'd all been crap too. I knew for the final they wanted something better. Personalized.

"Louis." He walks in and sets a coffee on his desk. "What's up?" He sits on the edge of his desk.

"I...I can't do the final."

"Why not?"

I stay quiet for a minute. "I don't have a song."

"You write one." He walks to sit in front of me. "You've got the potential Louis. I've read your stuff. It's good. It's rough and needs some tweaking but you can do this."

I shake my head. "I've tried. I can't. I don't know what to write about."

"I've always seen that personal experience is better to write about. Comes more naturally."

I take out my notebook and flip through the pages quickly. "These are personal and none of them are good. I suck."

He grabs the book and I watch his eyes move. "Louis. Are you sure you've never written before?" I nod. "These are about the same person?"

"Yes." I whisper. "Harry."

"Start over. The thoughts are there you're just thinking too hard. Just focus on one thing. Focus on the person and the emotions."

He hands me the book back and goes to grab his coffee and keys. I follow him and watch him lock up. He tells me I can practice in his room once I have the song done. I go to my room and shut myself inside on my bed. I have the book in front of me and I'm trying to concentrate.

KNOCK KNOCK!

"Louis. Gaby and I are going out. Wanna come?"

"No. I'm busy."

Jackson walks in and looks at my mess. He picks up the book before I can grab it back. He pinches his lips together and looks around my bedroom. He walks to my side table and grabs a picture of me and Harry. He places it in front of me and then grabs Harry's hoodie out of my closet.

"Here. Focus on this picture and Harry. Put the hoodie on. Let it engulf you. Try again. I'll read it once I get back."

I pull Harry's hoodie on and inhale his scent. He left this the last time he was here. It still smelled like him. I picked up the picture and stared at it. We were laying in this bed. Harry took the selfie. I was laying my head on his chest and he was kissing my head. I pick up the notebook and write a few words.

-------

Share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about
Things we'd never say to someone else out loud
We were only kids, just tryna work it out
Wonder what they'd think if they could see us now