Why do you have a fear of pain Danielle?
Well let me start this off by saying its not physical. It's not physical pain I'm afraid of. It's emotional.
Throughout my whole life I've had so many things chucked my way, so many obstacles. They slowly ate away at me. They damaged me emotionally. My heart can only take so much.
I've had the pain of being abused, the pain of words being thrown at me, the pain of being taken away from my mum, the pain of bullying, the pain of self destruction and suicide, the pain of losing my grandad and then losing my mum. These are only a fair few of the things I have felt pain from.
It scares me, the fear of pain. I don't want to feel it. No one wants to feel pain but it genuinely scares me. The damage to my heart is already significant. It cant handle anymore pain. I cant handle anymore pain.
I'm vulnerable. I'm fragile in some aspects. I'm strong and I can and will take the pain but I don't want to.
I'm afraid of getting hurt emotionally by the people I love. The people I care for.
I'm scared of feeling how low I was, the pain I've felt in the past. My heart hurt. I don't want to feel that again. I don't want and I don't need anymore strain or anymore wounds in my heart.
