CH & SH incorrect quotes 🙃

62

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker* 
Maine: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know. 
Everyone: 
Vermont : ...I did. I broke it. 
Maine: No. No you didn't. Connecticut ? 
Connecticut : Don't look at me. Look at Rhode Island.  Rhode Island: What?! I didn't break it. 
Connecticut : Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? 
Rhode Island: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken. 
Connecticut : Suspicious. 
Rhode Island: No, it's not! 
Massachusetts: If it matters, probably not, but New Hampshire was the last one to use it. 
New Hampshire: Liar! I don't even drink that crap! 
Mass: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier? 
New Hampshire: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Mass! 
Vermont : Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Maine.
Maine: No! Who broke it!? 
Everyone: 
Mass: Maine... Connecticut 's been awfully quiet.  Connecticut : rEALLY?! 
*Everyone starts arguing* 
Maine, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.  ... I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.  ... ... ... Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

This took FOREVER to type out.