Ayame Haruno (Naruto Various x OC)

Messed up

Third-person POV:

"For how long do you intend to stay in there?" Kakashi questioned boredly, knocking on the door to the guest room in his house, where Ayame had promptly locked herself up in there and refused to eat, speak, or see anyone. Today was the fourth day already(four days since her incident with Sakura) and although Kakashi wouldn't say it aloud, he was starting to get worried. She hadn't eaten anything, nor would she say a word. 

He could feel her chakra on the other side. Suppressed, flickering with distress, confusion, fear, and anger. It was slowly and steadily becoming darker, and having a more and more ominous feeling to it, but at the same time, it felt as if all emotion was slowly fading away. 

Kakashi didn't like that.

He knew just what that meant. How could he not? He'd been in the exact state of mind once before, and he knew all too well what kind of a mindset one with a chakra feeling like that meant.

"You can't keep yourself locked up in there forever, you know."

Inside, Ayame lay in the darkness. The windows and curtains closed, and she wrapped tightly in the blanket, trying and failing to hide away from the world. She didn't want to deal with it anymore. She didn't want to deal with anything anymore. She was just so done with everything. She didn't want to see anyone. She just wanted to be alone. She just wanted time to think-

Because what was she supposed to do now?

It felt like the world was crumbling around her if it hadn't already been completely destroyed and it hurt. She felt like she was drowning, every breath burned her lungs, her head spun, and she felt like there was no way out. Her body was heavy, and she felt like she was falling deeper and deeper into herself with no way out. There was no way out. 

There was no one to help her out. Everyone was already gone.

Everyone had already left her or she had left them- she really didn't know. She felt so lost with no way to go. Everything was a mess. She didn't understand anything anymore. All those books she read, spent time trying to understand how the human mind works, how to deal with stressful situations, and to just be ok- none of it mattered anymore. None of her book smarts could get her out of this situation. None of her training or any kind of Jutsu or weapon could help her. 

She prided herself on getting stronger to protect Sakura. She wanted to learn Medical Ninjutsu to help Sakura. She stayed in the village to be with Sakura. She protected the village for Sakura. She wanted to take missions and earn money to take care of Sakura.

Everything she did was based around Sakura.

Because that was what Big sisters did, wasn't it? Everything they did was for the good and benefit of their little sibling. Ayame would not hesitate to die for her sister, and that was what it had been ever since they were little. Since Ayame knew what being a sister meant.

So now what was she supposed to do now that the one person she'd built her world around didn't even want her around anymore? 

She really wished she had a punching bag right now. She really needed to get one. Speaking of which she needed a move stable place to stay. As comforting and tempting as it was to just stay with her Sensei, she needed a proper place to live. She couldn't go back to that house. No. Never again. There were too many ghosts haunting that place for her to ever be able to set foot there again. It hurt too much to go back.

She remembered that even though that was her childhood home, she hadn't once felt at home in that place a day since she was 6. Since Yūgure left. Since her parents practically disowned her. Since Sakura lost her memories...