Boarding School - Phan

8. What now?

anything  ** written in asterisks = DAN'S THOUGHTS.***

A/N : READ THIS: DIS BE REAL IMPORTANTÉ!!!::

Warnings: ... a little bit of SMUT in this chapter - just a paragraph - I marked where it starts and where it ends, so you can choose if you wanna skip it or read it. It isn't Phan sex, don't worry. It's just Dan's confusion about buttsex - I thought this should be in the story. If you'll read it, please have in mind that this is the first time I'm writing smut.. then sorry if it's not good. It's nothing that will traumatize you so just read it and whatever ffs

On thursday, they had a 3 hour exam. Dan couldn't focus on what he was doing. All he could think about was Phil, and how he ran the night before. How the hell would he even look at Phil now? How would they talk, what would he say? what about their friends? What would Dan say when they asked why he was so weird? 

Luckily they didn't have any lessons together. After the exam, Dan was sure he failed it. Now, he wasn't just sad and confused about Phil, he was also desperate because of his grades. 

At lunch, Dan decided he wouldn't go to the dining hall. And if any of his friends asked where he was, he wouldn't text back. He was literally avoiding Phil.

*I can't believe you're doing this, you coward.* dan thought to himself while drinking a coffee in his room - that would be his lunch. 

*just do something, text him*

dan got his phone and opened his conversation with Phil. His fingers danced on the keyboard trying to think of something to write. He couldn't find the words.

***maybe I could just tell him the truth, that I like him but I'm too scared.... NO DANIEL, HE OBVIOUSLY ALREADY NOTICED THAT.... Or not? OMFG WHAT IF HE THINKS I DONT LIKE HIM AND I JUST OMFG WHAT DO I DO NOW????***

dan needed a friend now. Not Phil. He needed a friend to tell him what to do. But how would he tell what he did to Phil? The person would think he's stupid and a scared little child who couldn’t kiss back.

******************smut part that isn't a proper smut but i'm letting you know anyways, go to the next page because there's more for you there********

Dan's confusion was just getting harder to deal with. 

Now, what scared him the most was the fact that, if he and Phil started "dating".. At some point Phil would want to have sex with him. Dan was a virgin and didn't know anything about buttsex. What he felt was genuinely just love for Phil. The only thing Dan had already done was kissing... And he wasn't a professional, to be honest. He kissed only 4 girls including Jessica. Dan thought he was a bad kisser, he was insecure, and he didn't want to disapoint Phil. 

On thursday at night, Jack was in Zoe's room, so Dan was alone. For the first time, he wanted to look for something on the internet.  Yes, porn.

He was still in denial. He needed to watch straight porn. He needed to be 100% sure he didn't like women. Of course the straight porn turned him on. But what he really wanted was…  gay porn. So he searched for it. He clicked “play” on a video. In the beginning he was feeling uncomfortable… But then he was enjoying the thing.