One shots || fem reader

Until the end || Tara Carpenter

Tara had been a bit weird for the past few weeks, and the others couldn't help but notice. They tried to see what was wrong, offering the brunette to listen if she had problems or just wanted to talk, but each time she denied them.

It was only when Sam came into her sister's room one night and found her crying in her bed, that Tara accepted to talk to her. Just a little bit.

"Why are you crying, Tara...? You know you can talk to me -to us- if you need to..."

"I know I- it's just... embarrassing... like really- you wouldn't even know..." the youngest Carpenter said quietly

"I won't judge you; you know I never would. You can talk freely, Tara. It's just you and me"

"You don't understand, it's- it's more complicated than that..."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, a bit concerned now

"I..." she took a deep breath "I think I'm in love..."

"That's... a good thing, right? Who is the lucky guy? Or... girl?"

"Who she is doesn't matter... It's impossible for us to be together..."

Sam took her sister's hand and gave her a gentle squeeze as she saw tears in her eyes.

"Why is that? Is she already taken? Does she like someone else?"

Tara shook her head, trying her best to hold back her tears.

"Maybe, who knows...? I- I don't even know her very well... But sometimes I feel like... I feel like we've lived so many things together... I know it doesn't make any sense but... I don't know how to explain it..."

"Then how can you say you love her if you-"

"I don't know, Sam." Tara cut her off "I told you; I don't really know how to explain it... I have this feeling that... that deep down, I know her... that we lived many lives together... but at the same time, I don't really know her... She seems so close... and yet she's out of reach..."

"How is this possible? Tara, I don't understand, who-"

"I know, I sound crazy. You don't need to understand. I'm fine, really. I'll... get over her. Thank you, for listening..."

"Tara-"

"Can you leave now, please? I'd like some alone time..."

Sam looked at her sister for a moment, not saying a word, not sure if it was a good idea to leave her alone, but eventually nodded and got up.

"I'm here, if you need to talk again"

"Thank you, but I'm fine, I swear"

She gave her a little smile that, she hoped, was convincing. She kept that smile on until Sam got out of her room. Only then, her smile disappeared.

She sat on her bed, fidgeting with her fingers, almost nervously.

"... I know you're here, you know...? I know what you must think. That whoever I have feelings for surely doesn't deserve me, or whatever you're supposed to say in this kind of situation. Or that it's not good to say I'm fine, even though I'm not. I know that, but... She wouldn't understand. No one would..."

She sighed, before laying down on her back.

"But you would, right? I know you would. I'm sure you know what it is to like someone, even if you never met..."

She let out a little chuckle, covering her eyes with her arm.

"But still, it was a bit rude to listen to the conversation I had with my sister, don't you think? Don't act all innocent; I know you were here. I can feel your presence. I'm not saying that in a mean way, though. It's just... embarrassing, for me at least..."

She paused for a moment, thinking of what to say next.

"You know, I thought about the moment I would confess a million times. Yet I never thought it would go that way; you being here when I talk about that with my sister... It was inevitable, I guess"

She stayed silent again, as if waiting for an answer.

"Are you waiting for someone to come out of the shadow of my room, where I could not have seen them, saying something like 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spy on you'? We both know it won't happen"

Another silence filled the room.

"What...? You don't... you still don't understand? I thought I made it obvious though..."

She sighed and sat up.

"I love you."

She had a sad smile on her face now.

"Yes, I'm talking to you. You, behind your screen... so close, yet so far away from me... Don't act so shocked, you should have seen it coming... I mean- you knew what you were reading, right?"

Tears started to form in her eyes.

"I was not wrong when I said we lives many lives together, was I? I feel like I've already fallen for you so many times, in so many different ways..."

Another little pause.

"You're not going to leave me, right? That's... so stupid... of course you are. You can't stay here forever..."

She sniffled, as tears started rolling down her cheeks.

"It's almost the end, isn't it? There isn't much time left, I can feel it. So, please... Try to visit me again sometimes, hm? I won't move, I promise... My story won't change either, nor will my love for you..."

She whipped her tears away.

"I know we can't have a happy end together, but... I would really appreciate it if you came back from time to time... Or if you can't... just don't forget me, okay...? I won't forget you..."

She tried to put herself together, a smile forming on her face. She didn't want her last impression to be her crying on her bed.

"Thank you for staying with me until the end. I love you"