Sweet Bully- Minsung

35

"Okay, that's all what we wanted to talk about. We probably should go now. We don't want to steal your precious time." I smiled and nodded. Felix was looking down the whole time. What was wrong with him? Changbin got off the couch and looked at Felix. After Felix looked up at Changbin, Changbin knew. He knew that Felix wanted to talk to me alone for a moment. "I'll wait in the car." Changbin hugged me and we said our byes. He got out of the house and after Felix heard the door close he looked at me.

He had teary eyes. I sat next to him. "Felix? What's wrong? Aren't you happy?"
"I am. I am happier than ever. But I'm feeling guilty."
"Why would you feel guilty?"
"I don't want to let you alone. I know you need someone by you side."
I smiled at him. "But Felix we knew. We knew that this moment would come. That was the reason why we even started all this. I'm not a baby anymore, I can handle things on my own."
A few tears were streaming down Felix's face. Felix knew me too well. He knew I couldn't handle everything on my own. But I hope he'd let it be. He deserves his happiness with Changbin, I'm not here to ruin it.

"But-"
"No buts Lix! Go be happy with Changbin. I'm gonna be happy on my own way. Why do you act like we're never going to see us again. Dummy I wouldn't let you go if you'd wanna leave me!"
Felix laughed and smiled, wiping the tears off his face with his hands. I hugged him and we stayed like that for a while. "I love you Min. And I love everything we had." He calmly said.
"Me too lix. But hey you'll experience it with Changbin now." I teasingly said smirking.

"Minho!" Felix broke the hug and looked at me still smiling. "You're right. The difference is that he'll top and you bottom." He blushed and slightly punched my arm. I laughed and got up as he did too. I walked him to the door and he hugged me one last time again. "You know you still can call me whenever you need to. I'm still here, the same Felix. Just not single anymore." I smiled and nodded. I watched as he got into the car and he and Changbin waved me goodbye. I waved at them too and waited until they drove away.

After I closed the door my smile once dropped again. That empty feeling on my chest coming back and I felt my eyes water. I want to feel something. Not sadness, not anger, not loneliness. I want to feel loved. I know I'm so desperate to feel loved but I would do anything at this point to feel loved. I'm fucking losing my mind. I know I sound dump. But I never got the love of my parents and Felix was always the one that made me feel loved, somehow. But now he can't, he has to give his love to someone else. And then there was Han. He made me feel so many things. I'm feeling so many emotions when I'm with him alone.
Safe. Protected. Comfortable. Loved.

I don't know how he made me feel these thing but he did. With him, my problems are gone. With him all my worries are gone. With him it's just us. And I fucking hate that I'm feeling this way about someone who isn't even interested in me.
I turned off all the lights and got into my bed again. I didn't eat anything today but breakfast. That was the right option. If I won't eat I will lose weight and maybe then Han will start to like me? He was always hanging out and fucking around with these perfect shaped girls. I have to be perfect like them so he'd like me too. With this in my mind I fell asleep again.

My alarm woke me up. Groaning I sat up and turned it off. Rubbing my eyes I looked around. I felt cold. Sighing I got up and went into the shower. After I took a hot shower I felt a little more warm. I brushed my teeth and  put on a shirt and a oversized hoodie above it. I wore baggy pants and looked at the mirror. The bruises on my face were almost unnoticeable and my left arm still hurt a tiny bit. The baggy pants looked like skinny jeans on me. Feeling gross I took everything I needed and went downstairs. I got into the kitchen and drank water before going out and locking the door.

I put on my AirPods and heard music all the way to the bus stop. It only took like 5 min to get there. As the bus arrived I went to the seat where I usually would sit.
As the bus stopped at my school's stop I got out with a few other students from my school. I felt nervous. My friends were standing in front of the school gate. They looked happy and laughed together at something Changbin had said. I put on a smile and walked to them. "Hi guys!" Their heads turned to me. "Hey Min." Seungmin said. "Let's go?" I asked. They nodded and we got into the school.

Felix was talking with Jeongin, Hyunjin and Seungmin while Han and Chan talked together. They had more distance with us and it seemed like they were arguing about something serious. "Hey Min." I heard Changbin next to me.  I smiled at him. "Hi."
"I just wanted to apologize if I sounded too rude or strict yesterday."
"Oh no, don't apologize. You didn't sound rude at all. I understand it. It's okay."
"That's good. I couldn't think about something else but yesterday. I don't want to ruin your friendship with Felix like that. I know this friendship means a lot to you and Felix. It's just that I'm not really comfortable by knowing the fact that you and Felix had slept together."
I slightly laughed at him.
"I already told you to not worry about anything. I don't know if Felix told you why we started this fake relationship but if he didn't then I'm gonna say it to you now. We started it because he had a huge crush on you. And I had a huge crush on that someone. I still do by the way. But after he saw that you got a girlfriend his hopes lowered really fast. But he didn't want to give up. And there was not a chance that my crush would've liked me, so Felix came up with an idea. He wanted to make you jealous. And I agreed on it because why not. So that's how everything started. Our plan turned out to be good because you clearly got jealous and y'all are dating now. I'm truly happy for you and Felix. Felix waited for this moment for months. And I hope that you'll treat him like your queen, just like he deserves to be treated."