In Her Own Footsteps

V

By the end of her sophomore year of college, Aanya could feel the threads of her once-promising future beginning to unravel. For years, before she began attending college in the United States, Aanya was determined to major in English and Creative Writing. She possessed a passion for literature and had even published a novella before she turned eighteen. She wrote it at sixteen. Her entire extended family was steadfast in their belief that Aanya should pursue writing and sharpen her skills. However, as time went by following the publication, Aanya began doubting her skills. Her royalties were scarce and dwindling. She even felt that the novella lacked maturity and no longer felt connected with it. She did not want to admit this to her family who had taken so much pride in her work and went as far as telling everyone they knew about it. The more people knew the more shame she felt from her published work. She kept it to herself.

Creative writing was not working out. Her grades were slipping and paired with her previous doubts about her publication. She doubted if it was actually a good choice. It was daunting. Aanya had taken a variety of classes to help her explore other possibilities. She had found herself particularly drawn to photography – especially film photography. Realizing that she did not need her parents' official authorization as an adult college student, Aanya made the switch. The change had been exhilarating, as she navigated the shifting landscape of her academic pursuits and personal aspirations. Aanya realized that the choices she made were starting to align with her vision of an exciting life. The uncertainty and doubt that first plagued her were gradually replaced with a newfound sense of confidence and purpose.

Aanya found a remarkable mentor in Andre, her photography professor. Under his guidance, Aanya discovered a natural talent for film photography and quickly developed a deep affinity for the tangible form of expression it offered. Andre recognized her potential and went above and beyond to support and harness Aanya's talent in this medium. His dedication to her growth and artistic development created a nurturing and inspiring environment for Aanya to explore her creative vision. Under Andre's guidance, Aanya's passion for film photography blossomed, and she began to embrace it as not only a creative outlet but also a powerful means of self-expression. Photography became a safe haven for Aanya on her journey in the US. It provided her with the courage to expand her horizons. Aanya started stepping out of her cocoon and used her creative ventures as a way to branch out. With each click of the camera, Aanya discovered a renewed sense of identity and found herself increasingly at home in her new environment.

Every semester, the art department held several art exhibitions featuring the work of seasoned artists from various mediums. That semester an exception was made. There would be an open-call exhibition in honor of Black History Month. The exhibition dealth with the subject of racial identity within the black community. Submissions were open to black artists of all ages and experiences from all over the world. Aanya pondered on whether it would be okay for her to apply. When it came to her ethnicity, Aanya could not quite label who she was. Just like her dad, Aanya was biracial. Throughout her life, she left like she did not belong anywhere when it came to ethnicity. On her dad's side, her grandmother was black and her grandfather was of Indian descent. Owing to their patriarchal culture, her grandmother has mostly assimilated into the Hindu culture in order to not get shunned by her in-laws. Her grandmother even told her that she and her sister even baptized her dad in secret.

Her own father, the first born and first biracial member of the family, rejected his black side for most of his life. He was never vocal about it. He would host dinners on occasions to celebrate religious events or traditions that were meaningful to Aanya's grandmother but that was its extent. However, Aanya's physical traits were a visual manifestation of being biracial. She had voluminous curly black hair like her grandmother and her features were a mix of both sides. In her teenage years, when Aanya started becoming more confident and proud of her racial identity, she felt indirectly shunned by her family. Aanya's family members were religious Hindus. They would often go to the temple to attend prayers. A teenage girl, Aanya wanted to look her best. She would moisturize and style her curls so they would look healthy as she got ready to leave with her family. Her family was not always supportive of her showcasing her 'non-hindu' side.