Summer Jam (gxg)

22. I Know

"Soo..." Rachie trails. "I think I heard way more of that talk you had with Sarah than I should have. And I am so sorry I left you behind, I could've waited outside...''

Rachie shivers and tugs at the blanket we are sharing, and I keep my eyes on the few stars we can see from her dim lit backyard. I escaped home again, this time while both of my parents were asleep, and threw a rock at Rachie's window to get her attention. I even left a sticky note on the front door in case mom wakes up in the middle of the night so she wouldn't worry.

I try to put my thoughts in order before I can speak, and Rachie waits. For once, she doesn't try to fill in the silence, she doesn't try to talk or to ask questions. Instead, she rests her head on my shoulder and I can't help but to think her hair smells amazing.

"You know, I am pretty sure I just got dumped by Sarah", I finally say.

Her eyes grow wide, and she sits a little further away from me so she can look at me. "Wait, what? What happened? You two made such a great pair..."

She's rambling, and I cut her off. "You just said you heard the talk Sarah and I had, you must know why..."

She looks away, bringing her attention to the sky. "Oh... I hmm, I didn't stay long." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice, and I get the feeling that she probably heard it all. I choose not to challenge her on it.

"But you must know still, no? Rachel, I..." I take a deep breath, gathering all of my courage to allow the words to come out. "I am in love with you. I hm, I always sort of have been." I expect her to run away or to scream, but she doesn't look too surprised. Instead, she stays right next to me, the space between her eyebrows scrunching up.

"I know, but I..." Her voice stills. She knows. Of course she did, even though I always thought it was well hidden. While she tries to elaborate, I fail at blinking back a few tears, and I keep my eyes up at the dark sky. She puts her head back on my shoulder, and the familiarity of it feels comforting.

When she is done talking, I ask: "That's why you tried to get me a girlfriend, isn't it?" Months of anger disappear at the realization. I didn't need a girlfriend, and she didn't believe I needed someone to be whole or some bullshit. She needed me to have a girlfriend so we could stay friends longer. Rachie stays silent, and that is all the confirmation I needed.

A cloud passes over the half moon, and I count the stars I can see in the sky. One, two, three, and four. A plane flies in-between them while I gather my thoughts to speak. My whole face is wet from the tears. "Don't leave me", I finally croak. I tried to get my voice steady, but I can hear the desperation in it.

She jumps up, and the blanket falls down to our knees. Startled, I push my glasses up my nose to stare at her. Before she can answer, before I get my heart shattered, I quickly speak.

"I need to know that there's still stars above just as I need to know you'll always be there. I need these things that I can predict, I need to know that tomorrow morning the sun will rise and nothing will have changed. I... I need you in my life. I need my best friend."

She chuckles. "Jam, I will always be there, I promise."

I notice she is crying her eyes out too, and I can't help but to laugh. She laughs with me until I don't know if our tears are from the feelings or the giggles, and I choose to believe, for this moment, that nothing will ever change.

♡♡♡

You know it's serious when I write a chapter that's only a single dialogue! Look at me working on my weaknesses lol