The Red Devil Bucky Barnes x male reader

dreams of memories

His voice, Misha's voice,
It seeped through your head like honey, sweet and pure, addictive, words rolling off of his tongue as if the language he spoke was originally written by him,

The words were slow, calming yet sort of distant almost as though there was some kind of haze surrounding you

"все в порядке, моя любовь"
(it's alright my love)

"Послушай меня y/n"
(Listen to me y/n)

"я здесь я с тобой"
(I am here I am with you)

Yet everything was dark, a void, there was nothing except empty space surrounding you, and you felt paralyzed, physically and verbally

Nor could you feel any form of physical comfort, but in a distant state you felt cold surface against you

At first you didn't feel here and then the feeling of sudden panic engulfed you

And then you could see, and feel and move but the feeling of control was nowhere to be found as the feeling of suffocating grew stronger

The sound of your own heart beat thuded loudly in your ears as your chest raises and falls too fast for you to keep up with, you were cold and your hands were shaking and everything was far too bright

Your eyes bounced from one thing to the next unable to hold focus on anything

"Y/n"
(Y/n)

Your eyes snaped up to the dark haird man who crouched infrount of you

"фокус"
(Focus)

"хороший мальчик"
(Good boy)

"вам нужно больше места или-"
(you need more space or-)

You shock your head in panic at the idea of being left, he wouldn't leave but the idea of Misha moving half an inch further away from you felt like a death sentence at this moment

The moment you head shook you felt him pull you into his chest, his arms wrapped around you tightly as if to protect you whilst your head rested against his neck

He was warm, safe. He rocked slowly side to side in a comforting manor as one of his hands slowly made its way to your hair as he gently began to stroke it

"все будет хорошо моя любовь"
(everything will be fine my love)

"Я здесь, я никуда не уйду"
(I'm here, I'm not going anywhere)

"Я буду с тобой до скончания века"
(I will be with you until the end of time)

"Я обещаю, что не оставлю тебя"
(I promise I won't leave you)
________________________________

You were sat at the edge of a bed, supposedly your bed although you had never sleept in it and in all honesty didn't plan to, it was too soft, too new, everything here was bright, too bright, polished and shiny, like a hospital more than a bedroom

The bathroom was the same, there was no warmth here, no comfort
You felt the need to be on edge more so now, somthing bad was bound to happen soon

You and Bucky had arrived less than an hour ago, it was currently 1:47 A.M here, any meetings would be tomorrow, Bucky's room was next to yours, you could hear the sounds of running water from Buckys room, he had brought you to your room told you his was next to yours asked if you were alright and after that said it was late he was going to go have a shower and then go to bed and that he suggested you do the same

You hadnt moved since, you for a short while fell asleep on the jet, the dream you had or rather the memory that resurfaced wasn't plesent, there was no death or blood, rather panic and comfort, the part that was unpleasant was who was in the memory, you wish that could of been left behind, there was no need to remember him, there was no need to remember any of your past before Hydra, that wasn't you anymore, those were the memories of another man not you

You sat in silence the empty room stayed still, yes you needed a shower, you in fact wanted one, you couldn't remember the last time you had hot running water, could of patently been before the war, but you had this feeling, with no explanation or any form of context, you just couldn't, somthing was wrong and you couldn't go and have a shower, in fact you didn't want to go anywhere near the bathroom at all for that matter, so you didn't, instead you stayed still, sat on the bed watching a plain wall, and waiting for something to happen

Nothing did