You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb [ruby da cherry]

This Day Old Scone is Fooling No One

In some ways, the past week has been good - but it's also been awful. As much as I tried to push aside my anger, confusion, and upset feelings about the whole Mom situation, I really just ended up making myself more tense. Bottling up all these feelings really was not for me, but I had to try. I didn't tell anyone about it, not even Max, and as I absent-mindedly walked through some designer/fashion store with Ruby and Germ, I caught myself having to reel back my thoughts. It felt uncomfortable thinking about it around other people, as if I were liable to start thinking out loud without even realizing it.

I would have preferred to be suffering alone, but I didn't have anything else to do that night after dinner, so the two coaxed me into coming with them. Ruby did have a point last week when he said I should go out and buy some new clothes, even though I was hesitant to actually go out and do it. I didn't want to blow through all the money I made so far, unlike others who spent without caring. And it wasn't like the guys weren't able to afford it, they just weren't money hoarders like me. I only had a handful of expensive things from after my music started making me money, not including my laptop and mic, or any other recording equipment.

Germ was checking out the shoes and Ruby the bags, leaving me to look at whatever might pique my interest. The price tags overwhelmed me, though, no matter if I could afford it or not. With my background, it felt wrong to spend hundreds of dollars on one thing that you'd just be wearing and getting dirty. Unless it was a pair of black Timbs, those I'd buy without hesitation, no matter the price. I needed something to keep me on the ground during winter.

"I don't know, bro," I said, feeling the soft material on one of the hoodies. "Is it not kind of absurd to be spending this much on clothes to you?"

Ruby shook his head, staring at the wall of various items under neon lights. "Don't fuckin' sweat this shit, you gon' get more money anyway. Jus' wait til' you wanna get a house or a car."

"A house or a car?" I repeated, thinking the idea sounded absolutely ridiculous.

"Well, I know you don't drive now, but like, in the future. What's gonna happen when we all dead? You gonna voodoo our spirits to drive you around?" he laughed.

I shook my head. "Either way, that's in at least a few years. Right now I'm not used to getting expensive shit like that."

"It's nice to treat yourself once in a while. Don't trip, baby."

"Right... I guess this is cool," I said, picking up a red tshirt with a unique designer logo on it. Ruby walked over to me and inspected the shirt. Wow, he's gonna judge my taste right after encouraging me to buy something?

"Get a medium, since you look good in oversized shit," he suggested, handing the shirt back to me. My hands got that fizzy feeling in them and I traded the small shirt for a medium.

"Okay, but I don't know about the color, they don't have one in black-"

"Yo, what I just say? Don't trip over nothin', you obviously like the design. Jus' buy it."

"Wow, okay dad," I teased, desperately wanting to add a syllable to "dad." He walked back over to the bags and picked one up.

"Whatchu think of this?" he asked, walking to me and handing me a small black designer duffle bag. I took it from him and looked at it, admiring the details but scared to check the price tag.

"You don't think I'd just be flexing at this point?"

"You're a rapper, Veevs, it's in the fuckin' job description," Ruby laughed, and I couldn't keep my serious demeanor.