You Got Yr. Cherry Bomb [ruby da cherry]

In Case of Emergency, Dial 411

     Bright beams of light beat down in front of me, making me squint. My chin was cradled in my hands and my elbows dug into my knees as I looked out into the world, thinking way too hard. It was official, to me at least, at this very moment I concluded that I had feelings for Ruby. Not love... it was a crush; harmless and stupid. I better get over this soon, I thought. I groaned and hid my face in my hands once again. I'd probably been sitting outside for 5 minutes, nothing too extreme, but that didn't stop people from worrying.

     The bus door opened and closed, and someone stepped down from the bus then walked towards me. Please don't be Ruby, please don't be Ruby. I didn't move.

     "You good, Vivi? You look angry," Kevin said. I brought my head up from my hands and looked up at him. I sighed and shrugged.

     "I'm fine. I got a shit ton of fuckery goin' through my mind right now, that's all," I explained. Kevin nodded.

     "You wanna talk about it? You know me, I always got fuckery in the brain," he said. I laughed and shook my head, looking back out at the world.

     "Just - do you ever think something you really don't want to? Like, almost like you're scared of your own thoughts because it's stupid or could end up ruining shit," I took a deep breath in, almost immediately regretting my words.

     "Yeah, of course. I think everyone has those types of thoughts. Usually they're not that bad, though, it's just your anxiety makin' it worse," he said. I nodded and looked down at my hands.

     "I just feel so stupid because of them," I said.

     "That's understandable. You don't gotta tell me what it is, but I promise you, you'll be aight. Now come on, your pancakes are gonna get cold," I stood up and followed Kev back into the bus. Max saved a spot at the booth for me by putting my uglydoll next to him (an original one, not the new bullshit).

     "Here," Max said, patting the plushie on the face. I walked over and snatched it from the seat in false annoyance.

     "Don't ever fuck with Bill, you coulda killed him," I said. Max laughed and I sat next to him. I felt eyes on me as I opened my pancakes. I looked up and saw Ruby staring at me from across the booth, a concerned look on his face.

     "What happened out there? You okay?" he asked. I nodded.

     "Yeah. It wasn't a panic attack or anything, I just needed to... collect myself," I explained. Ruby knew about my panic attacks more than anyone in the room - he'd been there when I went through one of the biggest attacks I've had in my life.

     "Okay, just checking. You looked a lil frustrated," he said.

     Kevin chimed in from the couch, "Don't hound her about it, man. She's aight."

     The subject was dropped immediately and we ate in anything but silence. Between all of us talking about random shit and trying to get in as many jokes as possible, there was hardly any room for me to think about anything. I got up to throw away my trash, leaving the guys' conversation. I heard a ringtone and shortly afterwards someone shouted, "Meth!" I turned around quickly and saw he'd called Ruby.

     "Meth? Is that Meth? Lemme talk to him," I said, walking over to Ruby. I stood behind him and saw Meth, more so his forehead, on Ruby's phone screen.

     "Hey Vivi," he said in a hoarse voice.

     "How're you feelin' bro?" I asked.

     "Still shitty, but better than yesterday. I might be able to catch the second half of the tour," he explained.