MIN LEELA// Stray Kids 9th Member

* Disappointment *

   (Gonna be depressing and a bit happy I guess. I hope y'all will enjoy this)!

   It had been about thirty minutes or so since they had arrived at the hospital. All of the Stray Kids members were there along with Robert, Terra, and Angelina. Leo had arrived a few minutes prior, much to the dismay of Chan, Hyunjin, Felix, and Angelina. They didn’t know why Leo was there considering he never cared about Leela.

   Jeongin was still covered in Leela's blood from his clothes all the way to his hands and face. It was rather disturbing. He couldn’t do anything about it though. He was in a daze. He was still crying, but he wasn't moving at all. Ever since he sat down in the private waiting room they were given, he hadn't moved at all or said a word.

   "Jeongin, talk to me. Do you have the envelope that Minho is talking about?" Chan asked, bending down in front of the younger boy. For a moment, he looked at Chan, but then looked away and resumed the position he had been in. He began to hum "Once Upon a December," the song Leela's mother sang to her and the song Leela sang to him to help him fall asleep. He needed it to fall asleep. He couldn’t sleep last night without it, even when he thought she cheated on him.

   "It's no use. He's traumatized." Terra expressed. "And who's fault was that?!" Hyunjin voiced with hostility. "Have some compassion, Jin! He just witnessed his girlfriend essentially die in his arms!" Leo countered. "It was his fault! He fucking blamed her!" Hyunjin shot back. "He had a reasonable reaction, Jin! Any person would've had that reaction!" Leo went on. "No." A voice croaked.

   Everyone looked over at Jeongin, who began to speak for the first time since arriving at the hospital. "It was my fault. Hyunjin hyung is right. I blamed Leela for no reason at all. I caused her to do this to herself. It's all my fault." Jeongin muttered, tears falling and mixing with the blood on his face. "It was all of our faults, Jeongin. We blamed her too. Chan, Hyunjin, and Felix were right. But we were too blind to see." Minho replied, gazing at him with a pained expression.

   "We let her down when she needed us the most." Seungmin added. The rest nodded in agreement. It was silent for a moment again, until Jeongin pulled the envelope out of his pocket. He sighed and opened it. A folded letter was inside. He took it out and read it out loud with a shaking voice to the awaiting members and so called family.

   Why? Just why?

   Why did you guys let me down? You know I would never do this, but you still believed it. I thought you guys would stick by me no matter what. Only three of you kept your promise. Well technically four, at least I would hope so. I don't know if Angelina believes me.
   Chan, I'm sorry for not being the best maknae. You picked me out of all the girls, but I let you down. I have been the biggest mistake in your life the past nearly five years, and I am so sorry. I love you so much, Papa. I hope your life becomes better without this disappointment of a maknae.
   Minho, never in my life did I ever think you could hold so much hatred towards me. Never did I think you'd side with a stranger so fast. I thought you loved me. I guess not. But just know that even though you hate me, I still love you. Continue being the best dancer and idol. Forget about me. Your life is better without me in it. I just ruin your life. You said it once before, four years ago. That everything was fine before I came along. That I wasn't meant to be an idol if I was going to keep messing up the choreography, or that I wasn't meant to be in the group. You were right, and I'm sorry.
   Changbin, you were like a brother to me. You treated me like if I was your little sister, and I treated you like an older brother. But now, you treated me like my father did. My throat still hurts as I'm writing this, but that hurt can't be compared to you stabbing my back. I'm sorry I couldn't be the best little sister to you. I'm sorry I'm a burden. You won't be burdened anymore. Just continue being the best rapper ever, ok? I love you.
   Hyunjin, thank you. You believed in me. I'm just sorry that I wasn’t the best. I really tried. You don't deserve to have me around. I'm just a burden to you. I don't deserve you. And you don't deserve to consider a bitch like me as a little sister. You deserve better. Continue dancing. You absolutely shine the brightest that way. Especially without me. I love you so much. Keep going.
   Jisung, God I wish you didn't believe those rumors. You always protected me because you didn't wanna lose me. And now, you stopped. I always knew I was a burden to you. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have had to worry about me constantly. You don't need that in your life. You'll be just fine without me, I'm sure of it. I love you so much. Keep shining.
   Felix, I knew you'd come through. You always did. I'm just sorry you had to deal with me this long. I'm sorry you had to worry about me. I'm sorry that I wasn’t the greatest. You deserve the greatest, and I couldn’t provide that for you. You need someone better and not burdensome. I'm sorry Lixie. I love you so so much. Chan and you better stick together, ok?
   Seungmin, seriously? Did you seriously think I would do that? Oh well. It's too late to ask that now. The damage is done already. Anyways, I'm sorry you hate me. I'm sorry for the damage I've caused. And I'm sorry you met me. If you didn't meet me, your life would be better. You will always be my sunshine. Go live your life, sunshine. I love you.
   Jeongin, my love. The love of my life. I don't know what I did to ruin your trust. Whatever it was, I'm sorry. You are my one and only love. No one is better than you. I love you so much. Which is why I'm doing this. You don't deserve to have me by your side. You deserve a girl way better than me. A girl that can make you more happier than I ever did. I'm sorry for not being good enough for you. I'm sorry for being a burden. You don't deserve a disappointment of a girlfriend. You deserve someone better. I love you so much Innie. Forever and always.
   My father was right. I should've never been born. I should've died instead of Mum. At least he'll get that wish. At least Leo and Angelina won't have a bitch for a sister-in-law anymore. At least Luke, Aiden, and Hazel won't have a disappointment for an aunt. And at least Robert and Terra won't have a sister who ruined their lives anymore. The world will be a much better place without me. You guys can live freely now. I'm sorry for everything I caused. You deserve better.

Love, Min Leela, the disappointment

   Jeongin clutched the letter close to him and sobbed loudly. Changbin turned to the wall and sobbed into it, regretting ever putting his hands on her. Minho, who tried to remain strong, began to slowly fall apart. Chan held onto a sobbing Felix, while Hyunjin slid down the wall in tears. Seungmin looked to the ground, tears pricking his eyes. Jisung covered his face, sobbing. Guilt and devastation surrounded the room, not knowing how to overcome it. How did they get here?

   After a few minutes or so, a doctor came in and greeted them. "Alright everyone, great news. We were able to stabilize Leela. She did lose a lot of blood, but we were luckily able to provide a blood transfusion and we were able to prevent any further blood loss. If you guys didn't bring her here when you did, she most likely would've died." The doctor explained. Everyone's hearts either dropped or shattered at the thought of arriving too late to save her.

   "Can we see her?" Chan asked. "Yes you can. She's actually awake now. However, she only requested to see four people named Bang Chan, Hwang Hyunjin, Felix Lee, and Angelina Yoo." The doctor revealed. The others who weren't called sighed in disappointment. They knew they wouldn't get to see her. It would take awhile for Leela to forgive them.

   Chan, Hyunjin, Felix, and Angelina made their way to Leela's hospital room, grateful she was alive. The moment they saw her, sobs escaped out of their throats. She was paler than her usual complexion and had bandages around her wrists. But she was alive. Angelina rushed over to hug her first, and Leela held onto her tight, tears beginning to stream down. Angelina let go and let the three boys hug her. All three of them immediately bombarded her with love and affection, making Leela let out watery chuckles.

   "You had us worried sick, Leelee!" Chan cried, taking her face in his hands and having her look up at him. Leela looked down, tears continuing to fall. "I'm sorry for burdening you guys." She muttered. Everyone's hearts sank when remembering the contents of Leela's suicide note.

   "Leela, Jeongin read your suicide note out loud. We know what you put in there." Felix revealed. Leela sighed, continuing to cry. "Leelee, you are the best maknae in the world. I picked you for a reason, and I don't regret it at all. You are not a mistake in my life and you never will be. My life would never be better without you in it. I love you so much. Don't you ever think otherwise." Chan expressed. Leela began to sob, remembering what she wrote for Chan if she died.

   "Leela, you are the best. You will never be a burden to me whatsoever. I will always consider you a little sister. You are the best person to have around. If you weren’t in my life, I don't think my life would be as great as it is now. Please don't call yourself names like that or think we don't care about you, because we love you more than anything." Hyunjin added, making Leela's cries increase.

   "Listen to me, I worry about you because I love you. I deal with you because you are my best friend, and I need you in my life. You are the greatest, because you give me the greatest. My greatest times were with you, and I will always appreciate that.  You will never be burdensome to me. Don't think that you are." Felix continued.

   "You are not a bitch whatsoever. I am so happy you are my sister-in-law, and I am so happy that Luke, Aiden, and Hazel have an amazing aunt to look up to. Robert, Terra, and Leo don't know what they have. They have an amazing person as their sister and sister-in-law, yet they're being assholes. You are not a disappointment. You are far from that. You are someone that brightens people's days. Their lives wouldn't be the same without you. We love you so much." Angelina concluded.

   Leela sat there, taking in the loving words she was receiving. Chan swooped her in his arms and hugged her tight, with the young girl sobbing in his arms. It was an amazing sight to see, and they were grateful that Leela was still alive. They wouldn't know what to do without her.

   (Well, kind of bittersweet huh? I hope you guys enjoyed this! It will get much better in the rest of the chapters so stay tuned for that! See you soon)!