Hearts Desire (Harry Styles)

Chapter 6 - Panic

"Don't make me do this, Amelia-You know I hate doing this." His face was as red as a tomato as he gripped the top of my shirt, pulling me aggressively towards him. The burning of the fabric rushing too quickly over the skin of my neck brought a slight wince upon my face, but panic began to set in as his large hand gripped around my neck like it was nothing to him, like he could fully snap my neck in one movement if he truly wanted to.

There was a smirk on his face as he noticed the panic laced in my eyes, his grip tightened slightly, enough to begin restricting the oxygen just enough to make speaking more difficult. His face was close enough that the tips of our noses were touching, I could smell alcohol clinging onto his breath which only meant this had potential to be worse than it normally was. "P-Please, E-Ethan, please s-stop. I-I'm so-sorry."

"You are sorry-" He snarled, "A sorry excuse for a human being. You're a pathetic bitch who wants to make me miserable!" His grip tightened yet again, this time causing me to claw towards his hands in attempt to release oxygen back into my lungs but he was too strong. "Who were you with tonight?!" He knew I couldn't answer, he was in full control as my vision began to blur. "Were you out fucking someone else?! Huh?!" From what I could tell, his other hand lifted and began making it's way to the side of my face.

My eyes shot open as I tried to gasp for air, sitting fully up in my bed before clawing at my neck to find that there were indeed no hands grasped around me. Frantically looking around at my surroundings, I tried to bring myself back to reality, but I was too far in the dark parts of my mind to crawl out now. My vision began to tunnel and even though I knew I wasn't where my nightmares had placed me, I couldn't get a deep breath no matter how hard I tried. It felt like a weight was sitting on top of my lungs, only allowing enough oxygen to keep me aware of what was happening.

My clammy hand clenched onto my shirt, right over my heart, it was pounding hard enough that I could hear the blood pumping in my ears. Managing to pull myself out of bed I carefully made my way towards the door, trying to be as quiet as possible as I made my way to the kitchen hoping that water would help somehow.

4:08 AM.

That's the time shining brightly on the oven clock as I paced my way around the kitchen, ice water in hand. I fought the overwhelming nausea as I let the cold water rush down my throat, doing nothing but sending a shock through my body. My pacing came to a stop, hands gripping the counter so hard my knuckles turned white as I tried yet again to fill my lungs with air. Drops of water began bouncing off of the marble under me, I hadn't even realized I was crying.

"Mia?" The voice sounded like they were underwater, I kept my eyes clamped shut. "Shit-" A comforting hand was placed on my back, their voice now sounding somewhat normal, enough for me to know that Mitch was standing at my side. "Panic attack?" I managed a nod as my breathing shifted to shorter intakes as my body began to stress over the lack of air, leaving a shooting pain through my chest. "Do you want me to get Dustin?" My head shook quickly from side to side, he didn't press for it, instead pulled me back by the shoulder's so I was facing him, my eyes still tightly shut. "Mia, can you look at me?"

Hesitantly I opened my eyes only to find Mitch staring back at me with concern lacing his own, only the small under-cabinet light illuminating his face. "Everything is okay, you're okay. Focus on me, alright?" This only made more tears fall, "Let's breathe together, okay? In through the nose, out through the mouth." I gave a nod in reply, letting my focus fall to him. "In.......out.......in........out.......-" He repeated this for what seemed like minutes before I began to feel my lungs inflating fuller with each time we went through the motions.

Finally I felt myself grounded again, still shaking slightly but nothing like I had been before. "I'm so sorry-" I muttered, embarrassment flooding through me like a tidal wave. He shook his head lightly, brows knitted together before my body was being pulled into his chest. "Stop-" His voice was calm, but I could tell it was still filled with concern. "Do you want to talk about it?"