lilliana
I'm the first one to finish the AP Physics test. I just sit there after I do. After this class - I have 45 more minutes of it - I'll be on my way to lunch with Dylan and Rutger.
"How the hell did you finish so fast?" Adam whispers from beside me. He's still working on the test. I begged him not to sit next to me - because I need to focus. He stayed quiet the entire time.
"Because I'm smarter than you." I state. Last year, Adam was borderline failing regular physics, but when I tutored him, he fell in love with the class. He knew I planned on taking AP this year, and he signed up with me.
"I'm still on the second page!" Matthew Knies, literally the smartest person on the Wolverines whisper-shouts.
"Sucks to be you." I whisper back crossing my hands in my lap as my lips thin into a little line.
"Fuck off." Matthew states a little bit louder than he intended to.
"Mr. Knies, is there something you would like to share with the class?" The professor asks from her desk down at the front of the auditorium-like room. I hear Adam mumble an 'oh shit'.
"I told Lilliana to fuck off." Matthew states dead-panning the teacher. The rest of the class slightly chuckles at Matthew's words.
"Language, Mr. Knies. Detention on Saturday." She says returning her eyes back to her laptop.
"Knies has detention." Adam says under his breath in a sing-song tone.
"Mr. Fantilli, would you like to join your teammate on Saturday?" She says not bothering to look up from the laptop.
"No ma'am." Adam says. His eyes revert back to his test. I try my best to hold in a laugh. This professor actually likes me and I'm not trying to ruin that by getting Saturday detention.
After AP Physics, I gather my stuff and make my way to this small restaurant just outside of campus. Just like every other student, I'm listening to music and walking to my destination.
"You're fucking kidding." I say under my breath. I was under the impression that it would just be Rutger, Dylan, and I like we planned. So why the hell is Luke here?
"It was last minute, Lily. I'm sorry. But please don't leave." Dylan, who wasn't at the table, comes back from - mostly likely - the bathroom.
"Fine." I roll my eyes and slide into the seat closest to the window, across from Luke. Duker slides in after me.
"So...." Duker says. "How was class?"
"Fine." I reply. I look at the menu on the table, not that I'm actually reading it.
"Anything interesting happen?"
"Nope."
"Didn't you have that test today? How do you think you did?" Rutger asks, trying to help Dylan out.
"Good."
"So nothing else happened at all today?" Duker asks. I give in. I guess it's not fair to them if I act like an asshole. They weren't the ones that ruined my life.
"Knies got Saturday detention." I state. "He was whispering during the test and the professor asked if he had something to share. He - as plainly as he could - said he told me to fuck off."
"That's totally something he would do." Rutger says. Luke, who's looking out the window, chuckles ever-so-slightly.
"Really? I excepted Adam to pull something like that, not Matty." Duker says with a chuckle.
"Sometimes you don't know people as well as you think you do." Luke says sharply, looking directly at me.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I reply, just as sharp. He teases me, he ignores me, but he's never done something like this.
"You know exactly what I mean."
"I'm sorry, if I recall correctly, you were the one that wanted to keep things clandestine." I say, his face furrows up in confusion. "Oh yeah, you're too stupid to actually know what that means. You were the one that wanted to keep it a secret."
"That's such bullshit, and you know it." He says rolling his eyes. "You were fine with it, but you didn't believe I saw only seeing you because you are too fucking insecure." The bad thing about knowing someone almost your entire life is they know exactly how to hit you where it hurts.
My eyes begin to fill making things blurry. I might not be able to think straight right now, but I know I'm not going to cry in front of him.
The waitress comes over to the table. "I- uh, I think we need a mitnue." Rutger says.
I tap Duker's foot, he lets me out. "I'm sorry." He mouths before I turn around and am out of the restaurant's door.
I'm walking down the side walk, pretty aggressively to be honest. How could he say that? There was one time I thought he was seeing someone else, but it wasn't because I was insecure.
I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Don't fucking touch me!" I spin around and push him back. That usual smirk isn't there, I honestly have no clue what expression is on his face.
"I-"
"Stay the fuck away from me, Hughes." I say before turning back around to continue the walk to my dorm.
I hate him more and more every day. But today, I didn't think I could hate him as much as I do right now. Who told him he had the right to say that? Who told him it was a good idea to let Rutger and Dylan know that we dated? The one thing I wanted him to keep a secret, he didn't.
I keep my tears under control until I get to my dorm. As soon as the door closes, I break. I slide down the door, covering my mouth so the entire floor doesn't hear my sobs.
He's never had this affect on me before - not enough to make me cry like this. Sure his words hurt, but never like this. Actually, that's a lie. The only time before now I've reacted like this is when we broke up. That day, I felt my world stop spinning.
He took me on a date to a nice restaurant near the water. A couple days before, I told him how I felt about keeping things quiet. It thought he would tell me I was right and he wanted to go public, but I was wrong.
I've changed since then. My soul stayed in that restaurant. Trends changed, rumors flew, a lot changed but I'm right there where he left me.
I remember. We sat in the corner of the restaurant underneath the dim light. My legs were crossed on the booth chair.
When he said those few words, I swear the whole world went quiet. You could hear a hair pin drop. I physically felt the moment stop. I was frozen that day.
Time went on for everyone else, but not for me. I feel like I'm still living in this fantasy. Stuck at that age in that damn restaurant.
Thank god my roommate isn't here. I hardly know them yet and I'm not really sure how to explain my situation to them when I don't even understand it myself.
I hear my phone ringing in my back pocket. I pull it out and read the screen. Luke Hughes. This is what he did after we broke up. He called me up just to break me like a promise and now he thinks he can do it again?
author's note:
tay... my girl... let's talk about those surprise songs in minnesota!! dear john and daylight on the same night?? paper rings and if this was a movie?? minnesota is literally in the middle of nowhere. like yes i don't have tickets to any show but this was a personal stab tbh
