luke
I should get over her, but I can't. The sound of her voice is an alarm to my ears. The way she looks when she laughs is a photograph to my eyes. She is a lace of ribbon through my soul. When she touches me it's as everlasting as a tattoo kiss.
I want to let her go, I should let her go, but I can't. I honestly don't think I want to.
"Mr. Hughes, I would like to speak to you for a moment." I should be on my way out of Physics, but my professor stops me.
"If you keep this up, you're going to fail my class, meaning you won't be able to keep playing hockey." She says crossing her arms.
"If you get anything lower than a 70 on the test 2 days from now, you fail." She says in a stern way that makes me want to roll my eyes. "I suggest you get Lilliana Riley from AP Physics to tutor you, I'm sure you'll be able to find time to do so?"
"Yes ma'am." Of course the girl I'm trying to get over is the girl that is supposed to tutor me. If the universe isn't leaving signs right in front of my face...
I leave the class. thankfully done for today and I don't have practice until tomorrow. I'm walking through the quad when I spot Lilliana, it's now or never, I guess.
"Hey..." I walk up to her awkwardly. "I'm about to fail Physics and my professor suggested I ask you to tutor me. If I fail this quiz on Thursday, I won't be able to play hockey."
"You're asking me to tutor you?" She asks not bothering to look up from whatever textbook she's reading from.
"Yes, only until the test."
"Physics, you said?"
"Yep."
"Okay."
"O-okay? I thought it would've taken a lot more convincing than that." I sit down on the grass a safe distance away from here.
"You mean now?" She finally looks up from the textbook. She used to read for fun, like romance novels and stuff, but now, I only ever see her read something for school.
"The test is in two days, I need to study as much as I can before then." I state. If I can't play anymore, I don't know what I'll do. This could be my last season as a Wolverine.
- - -
Somehow, we managed to successfully study for two hours without her patience gettin too thin or her flipping her shit because nothing makes any sense to me.
We plan to meet tomorrow for a longer amount of time and for an hour before the test on Thursday.
Once I get to my dorm, I immediately crash, although I didn't mean to. I wake up four hours later and I feel like I'm about to throw up.
The dining hall is closed, so I have to venture somewhere else for food. I aimlessly walk around campus - not really sure what food I'm supposed to find.
"Hughes?" It's 10:30, it's not like it's extremely late, but I'm still surprised when Lilliana approaches me. "What are you doing out here?"
"Looking for food."
"Okay, caveman." She hands me an apple out of her hoodie pocket. I don't have enough time to question what an entire apple was doing in her pocket, because I'm more focused on the actual hoodie.
My hoodie.
It's a blue hoodie, dark blue if we are being exact. I switched out the white string for an orange one. No, it doesn't match. But I did it because I love the color of Lily's hair.
I snap back to reality. She must not know that's my hoodie. She still hates me. "What are you doing out here?"
"I- uh, Just walking around." I know her well enough to know that's not the truth, but I let it go because the answer I'm thinking is not one I would like to be true. "You can join me if you want."
So I do. We walk in silence for a while until one of the millions of questions floating in my brain come out of my mouth. "Have you ever kissed someone else?"
She thinks for a second. "No." One down, a million more to go. I guess her answer gives me some sort of relief? It doesn't mean she hasn't moved on, though.
"What's your favorite song lyric?" She asks. She steps over the cracks of the sidewalk - something she's been doing since she was little.
"Anyway, don't be a stranger." I state. It's from Scott's Street by Phoebe Bridgers. The first time I heard it, I felt a weird sense of nostalgia. Which is weird, because I've never heard it before.
It's not the cute type of nostalgia, either. It's the depressing and heartbreaking feeling. That feeling when you feel like your chest is about to be sliced open.
"Always an angel, never a god." She says. I've never heard it before. "It's from a song called Not Strong Enough."
She goes on. "It's just- I didn't get it the first time I heard it, but when I did, I fell in love with it. The progression of it, and the meaning behind the words it's just amazing."
If only she know why that lyric was my favorite. We walk for a little while longer until we part ways. I'm really far from my dorm, so I pull out my headphones.
I look up the song Lily was talking about and press play. Just like her, I didn't get it the first time. Yeah, it's a great song, but I just don't get it.
I hit rewind and listen again. This time, I feel the song shift. The slow build of the bridge, the angst behind each word, it's a masterpiece.
Always an angel, never a god. Always the painter, never the painting. More metaphors pop into my brain as I listen to the song on repeat until I get to my dorm.
I open my texts, I don't scroll because she's still pinned - she always will be. The contact name has never changed from Lils.
Make it back okay? I type out. My thumb presses the send button before I can think twice. I stare at my phone waiting for an answer.
Yep She responds with. I hesitate my next text, I don't want to overstep the possible ground I've made with her today, but you only live once right?
That song is fucking amazing. Is what I send. Twelve different variations of the same words, and none of them seem right.
She hearts it. Not a reply, not a thumbs up, but a heart. What am I supposed to think of this?
The affect of Lilliana Willow Riley. She could not even reply to a message and it makes you spiral until your brain falls out.
This woman is a fucking drug.
author's note:
can we talk about how HIM matthew tkachuck is?!? LIKE THE GOALS IN OT, THE WALKOFF WIN, THE CELLYS, THE MOUTHGUARD, HIM AT THE NHL AWARDS, THE COCKINESS LIKE I CANT DEAL WITH ITTTTT
i'm so close to writing a brothers best friend fic about him
ADAM DIDNT GO TO THE DUCKS?!?!? WHAT???? IM SO CONFUSED
