The Café

TIME AND HOPE

Y/N's POV

I was painted in the deepest shades of crimson and red.

My neck had little red marks, I traced them with my fingers and it occurred to me what I had just done. 

Chan took off his jacket and put it around my shoulders, kissed my forehead with a smile.

He gently held my hand, unlocked the door and led us out.

When we got to the living room, everyone was silent for a second, Lix cleared his throat and said "I'm spinning this time!". Ella followed in pursuit.

Nancy called out asking me to go sit with her and told me that I had missed a juicy gossip that Lix blurted out when I was gone.

Minho dragged Chan to sit with him, across from me. He was often glancing at me.

I was sitting there in silence, I couldn't hear anything around me except the muffled cheering and bickering.

I was lost in thoughts. Was I in my right mind when I did what I did? What was I thinking?

The days I thought I was happy?.... With Jake...

Why did it have to be me? Was it my fault for giving him all the love I had?

Was that it? But why couldn't I get even the tiniest bit of it back?

Now, What I'm doing right now, Is this situation even real? Is it okay for me to have these feelings?

All these thoughts were making my head spin. I needed some air.

I got up and went to the rooftop, 

The view was amazing, the weather was just right, not too warm, not too cold.

I took off the jacket Chan gave me and sat on a little bench facing the view.

I wanted to sort out my feelings first, do I really like him or am I just being delusional because of his soft spot for me?

Does he really like me or is it just pity, did it make me an easy target because he has seen my weaker side?

Was what I experienced inside actually real or was it just the alcohol? 

CHAN's POV

We were into playing other games now and I wanted to make sure Y/N was feeling fine after what happened. I just couldn't resist not being close to her, not being able to hold her in my arms, I wanted to be by her side so bad from the moment I saw her again.

While everyone was shouting and cheering, she looked blank.

Her face showed no expressions, She looked lost. I constantly kept glancing at her to make sure she was okay.

A little while later, she left the room and went out, I wanted to give her some time alone.

It's been almost an hour now and she hasn't returned.

I was worried so I decided to check on her.

I found her on the rooftop, sitting on a bench, looking at the view.

It was so cold and she had even taken off the jacket.

I took the jacket and went to her.

She looked ethereal. The little mole on her nose,  that tiny little pimple that was sitting on her cheek and that single strand of hair that was defining her jaw. Those eyes glittered with the night lights of Seoul. 

It was at this moment I realized, I did not just like her, But I was in love with her!

I put the jacket around her shoulders, she flinched and stepped away.

Then she saw it was me and calmed down. 

'Hey', I said.

'Hey', she replied.

"So about what happened inside...

I don't want to apologize...

 because...

She was just looking at me with those eyes, waiting for me to continue.

Because, Y/N those are my feelings for you. I LIKE YOU Y/N.

I started liking you the very first time we met.

But when I couldn't get in touch with you again, I was not myself until I found you through Lix.

I am the happiest when I am with you. You give me butterflies every time I see you".

I-    "Chan? Thank you, I understand,

 But, I am in no position either physically or mentally to-  to start anything, I am trying to focus on finishing university. So, I need time. I need to have some time to myself to understand my feelings and sort them out so I don't end up hurting the people I like, I hope you understand. I'd still like for us to be friends. Only if you're okay with it". She said.

I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. Should I be sad because she did not accept me or should I be happy that there is still hope?

Whilst I was lost she called out to me, arms open with a smile, "Wanna hug it out?" she asked.

I nodded. She stepped forward and gave me a warm hug. It felt nice. The hug gave me hope.

We parted and smiled at each other.

But our smiles carry different emotions.