Forever Now - Tom Kaulitz x Reader

29

As the band starts to go back upstairs, I grab Tom by the arm, holding him back.

"Wait. I wanted to talk to you about something.", I say.

His eyes interrogate me. I can feel my heart flutter around my chest and my cheeks flush a little. I don't know how I'm going to go about this yet.

"So... I wanted to talk about last night.", I hesitantly tell him.

"Oh, don't worry. It's fine.", he immediately says.

I slightly shake my head. "No, I think we should talk about it a little."

"Why should we? I'm not mad and you aren't either. Everything's okay, yeah?", he tells me, tilting his head.

I sigh. "We should still talk about it. I think it's important."

He takes a seat at the counter. "Alright, fine. What's up?"

I play with my rings to try and calm myself down. It's just Tom, there's nothing to worry about.

"Well... I didn't appreciate what happened. It made me feel sad. I know you were trying to help, but you can't just get mad at me every time I don't do what you want me to."

He stays silent for a while. When I look up at him, he looks deep in his thoughts.

"I didn't get mad because you didn't want to do what I wanted you to.", he finally says. "I got upset because you were being stubborn and not taking an opportunity that would've been great for you."

"Yeah, but that's for me to decide. I get to choose what I want to do."

"Yeah, and I get to not be happy about it!", he replies, heating up again.

I bite my lip. "Please, don't get upset."

"I'm not upset! You're just making me look like I got mad because I want to control your life, and that's not what this is!"

I slightly roll my eyes. "You walked out of the house because I said no to joining the band, Tom."

"I walked out because you're sabotaging yourself!", he says. His voice is getting louder, and his face is completely closed off to me.

He suddenly gets up and takes a step towards me.

"Look. I don't want to fight. But don't accuse me of doing something I wouldn't do. I do not want to control your life. Not everyone is like your mom.", he spits before going upstairs with the guys.

I stay there for a second, stunned. What the fuck? Yesterday, he was throwing a tantrum because I took a decision that didn't please him. Today, he uses my mom as an excuse? My thoughts are swirling in my mind. I'm angry and confused. What is happening? What happened to what I thought we had? He probably hates me now. I have to think. I sit down on the bottom step, and lay down my head on top of my knees. If they kick me out, what am I going to do? I suddenly think that Bill would never. But he would also not go against his brother, so... I suddenly get up and take a deep breath. No, I'm not letting myself do this again. I'm not going to overthink until I ruin the situation. I take in a few more deep breaths and try something the therapist I was seeing as a child told me to do. I imagine myself as being Tom. He explained his feelings to me, and I need to listen to them. I try to view myself giving someone advice, and offering a helping hand; and them turning it down, not even considering my help as an option. And I have to admit, it stings. I feel terrible. I need to fix my mistake.

I walk back upstairs, and find the boys sitting on the couch, watching TV. Tom is laying against the kitchen counter.

"Hey.", I whisper.

"Hi.", he dryly answers.

I take in a deep breath. "You were right. I'm sorry."

He looks at me and frowns. "What?"

"I thought about what you said. You weren't trying to control my life, you were trying to help. I'm sorry. I should have listened to you instead of focusing on my feelings only."

He nods, but as he's about to answer, Bill cuts him off.

"Um... Guys, you might want to see this."

We both turn our heads towards the TV. On the screen is a picture of Tom and I at the mall, his arm around my waist and my head laying on his chest.

"Today we received this exclusive here! Tom Kaulitz seen with yet another girl, but it seems that's not the first time they have been seen together!"

The picture switches to him holding me in his arms at the park near my mother's house. I suddenly stop breathing.

"Here they are again... with Tom Kaulitz seeming to be unusually sweet with this girl! We are all asking ourselves this same question. Who is this mystery lady? We-"

The TV turns black. Tom puts down the remote.

"Garbage. They can't even fucking mind their own business.", he grumbles.

My eyes stay fixated on the TV. Who was there during my meltdown at the park? Who saw me? Who heard me?

"How... How did they get these pictures?", I softly ask.

"Who knows.", says Bill. "It could be someone who was just passing by."

I can see in his eyes that it's not the most plausible choice, though. "And what's the other option?", I ask.

He bites his lip, hesitant. "Or it could be a stalker. But god, I hope it's not one, I hate those."

My heart skips a beat. A stalker?

"What do you mean, a stalker?"

"Well, they somehow got two pictures of you guys... At moments where almost no one was there. And no one came up to us. So, it is weird. But like I said, it could also just be someone who was just passing by and didn't want to interrupt."

I turn to look at Tom. His face is closed off, his jaw tense and his arms crossed on his chest. He looks straight in front of him.

I don't know what to think, really. My brain feels like jell-o.

"So... what do we do?", I whisper.

"We wait. There's nothing more to do.", answers Bill.

I don't know how they can deal with this on a daily basis. I just feel like crawling under my bed and never leaving.

I suddenly feel strong arms around my shoulders, and I am taken over by Tom's scent. It's a mix of cedar, mint and a hint of cigarettes. I wrap my arms around his waist and abandon myself to his embrace.

"It'll be okay. I promise."