Forever Now - Tom Kaulitz x Reader

87

When we get back to the hotel, Mitzi is already sound asleep. She's had a tough day, so we decide to not wake her and carry her to her bed. We struggle a little, but we somehow manage to not disturb her sleep. After, we all go to our own rooms to get into something more comfortable. Gustav, Georg and Ophelia all decide to go to bed, but Bill, Tom and I want to stay awake. We're not ready to let tonight go yet. We all meet at the hotel's indoor pool. We don't plan on going in the water, we simply sit at the edge and let our feet hang in the water.

"Today was... a lot.", I sigh when we're finally installed.

"It really was.", whispers Bill. "I can't believe Mitzi went through something so horrific."

I nod.

"If I had known... I should've picked up her first call. I saw my phone ring, you know?"

"Why didn't you pick up?", softly asks Tom.

I sigh. I could've. But I chose not. Because I was already on a thin rope at work, and because I thought she was safe at home. But I'll never forgive myself for missing that call.

"It's not your fault, you know.", whispers Bill.

I softly nod, almost mechanically.

"I know."

He looks at me and takes my hand in his.

"It's not your fault."

I look up at him. I softly smile.

"I know, Bill. It's okay."

He lets go of my hand and my eyes get lost in the water reflection on the ceiling.

"I still think it would be a great idea to find these guys and give them a lesson or two.", says Tom, breaking the silence.

I chuckle.

"Oh trust me, I dream of doing this.", I answer.

"Never thought that loving a girl meant hating so many people.", he adds.

"Love and hate are indistinguishable.", says Bill.

"What do you mean?", I ask him.

He looks at his feet, lazily splashing some water.

"They feel very similar. I mean, I don't hate a lot of people, but the few I ever did felt a lot like love."

I frown, trying to understand. Aren't they on the opposite of the spectrum?

"I agree.", says Tom. "I mean, you can't stop thinking of the person, you get a physical reaction when you see them, your heart skips a beat when their name is mentioned... The list goes on."

I slowly shake my head.

"I disagree."

They both look at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I think love and hate come with intentions. The intentions are so far from each other. Isn't this what's more important than a physical reaction?"

Neither of them says anything for a few minutes, thinking about what I just told them.

"I mean, I've loved and then hated my ex. And trust me, it did not feel the same."

Tom looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

"Your ex? Is that the girl you mentioned when we were eating near the Spree?"

Confused, I turn my head towards him. I suddenly remember our first ever date, the first time he took me out. Right before I cut off contact with my mom. I had only talked about her for a few seconds. How did he remember this?

"I'm good at remembering details.", he shrugs, seeing my surprised expression.

"Who's your ex?", asks Bill, curious.

I sigh. I guess we're telling this story.

"It doesn't really matter anymore, but she's the first relationship I had. We dated in secret for a few months, even Mitzi wasn't aware of it. She ended up cheating on me a bunch of times, and then tried to threaten me into getting back together with her. She stalked me for a while, but she moved to the United States a few weeks later."

I look at my feet in the water. It reminds me the first date I had with her. We had snuck out of a party to go put our feet in a little pond nearby. The water was awfully cold, and we shared our first kiss there. I'm suddenly taken by a nostalgic feeling. I miss her sweet self, sometimes.

"Shit. That's intense.", murmurs Bill.

I nod. It took me a long while to get over her.

"That's okay. It's all in the past, now, and she's far away."

Tom softly take my hand in his. I smile as he intertwines his fingers with mine.

"Awe, look at you two being adorable.", giggles Bill.

Tom rolls his eyes and chuckles.

"What? I wish I had what you guys have.", Bill adds.

"I'm sure you'll find your person soon enough.", I tell him.

"Yeah, maybe I'll find a pretty front row girl like Tom did."

I chuckle.

"Maybe."

We stay this way a little longer, when suddenly Tom splashes his feet a little too hard and wets the pants I have on.

"Watch it!", I say, splashing him back.

"Wait, no, I didn't do it on purpose!", he tries to defend himself.

But I was already in motion, and he gets enough water to drench half his clothes.

"Oh, now you're dead.", he chuckles.

As I realize my mistake, I try to get up to run away, but he grabs my wrist and pulls me directly in the pool.

"Fuck you!", I scream when I emerge.

I swim towards the edge and take his ankles, pulling him in with me. He laughs and lets himself slide in the water.

"You guys are children.", giggles Bill.

"Oh, you're not escaping this, Bill.", I tell him while taking one of his wrists. Tom takes the other and we pull him in with us, as he yells for us to let go.

"You guys are the worst.", he says when he goes back to the surface.

A water fight is immediately declared, and our yells must have alerted a security guard, because we suddenly hear someone yell from a distance.

"Hey! Who's in there?"

Quickly? we get out of the water and start running towards the elevator.

"Come back here!", yells the security guard, chasing us.

The doors close before he can get to us, though, and we burst into laughing as the elevator makes its way up.

When we get to our rooms, it's nearly 5am, so we decide it's best to simply start getting ready and pick up our sleep in the plane.