The Shy Extrovert

Chapter 25

I had to tell Aniruddh uncle and Divyashree aunty that their son met a coward end. How will I face them? How will they take this news? How will they survive? Did he think about his family for a second? He might have thought as he mentioned me to care about them. He was their only child. If I as a friend am not able to digest this fact, how will I tell them?

The police inspector called me up. The post mortem reports were out. It was a suicide. With a heavy heart and teary eyes, my mascara smudged and hairs scattered I lead towards Samarpan. With his last note in my hand, I enter the Raichand villa in a shocked and upset manner. "Oh my holy goodness! Vaishnavi, what happened to you sweetheart? Why do look so pathetic? Is everything alright?" Divyashree aunty asked me with tension on her face. "Ashish..." I mumble. "What happened to him? Where is he? You're freaking me out. I am afraid. Is everything alright?" She threw a bunch of questions at me. I reach out my hand to pass her the letter. She reads it out and loses balance. "Aunty! Are you alright?" I ask feebly. "My Ashu!" she screamed as she passed out. Uncle helped her out to get into room. She was whispering Ashu's name in state of unconsciousness.

Uncle reads that letter and break into tears. He was not stable. He asked me, "Where did you find this letter? Where is my son? Where is Ashish?" his questions pricked me like spear in my heart. Where was Ashish? He was no more. He was not there to fight with me scold me and laugh with me. I had lost my best friend. But I had to take care of uncle and aunty. I was choking and tears had fogged my eyes. I gather courage and finally speak, "The post mortem proved it was a suicide. We need to bring him from morgue. His last rituals have to be done." "Why I am hearing this shona? Is it happening for real? Ashu... he won't come back... why didn't god take me away? My son, alas!" aunty spoke sobbing.

I had no answers to their questions. Why was she hearing this? She should not have been hearing this. I was blaming ashu for being so heartless. He had not done it right. It was his fault, totally. I hate you, ashu! I whisper to myself. I don't want to attend his last rituals. I know I would not be able to control my pain. I was in grief and his parents were too. Their pain was greater than mine. I console myself and convince myself to stand like a pillar for them.

The sound of ambulance sucks. The view of Ashish lying wrapped into white cloth. His ears and nose openings were blocked. The lively person was a corpse in front of me. I swallow my own saliva and let the things happen. He was a heap of ashes within hours. I was breaking slowing into tears, into memories, into laughter shocks and despair. The darkness was growing and everyone was crying and sobbing. Things became more complicated for me as survival without him seemt to be impossible. Why did you go? I moan. This pain is inevitable and the heartbreak makes you feel lifeless. I feel as if I have lost reason to smile. I start scribbling.

Why did you choose a coward end?
Why did you not let the ways bend?
You are lost somewhere in stars
you left behind me with hundred scars.
Wherever you will be, you will shine
Remember I am still yours and you're all mine.
I hate you baby and I'll hate you more
I am a stormy ocean; I'll find you my shore.
I'll live behind you the way you said
and will meet you in death bed.
I wish you had understood my pain
I wish you knew your smile was my only gain...