A Way Back To You

25| Aftermath

Definition: The period following an event of major importance which encompasses the consequences, fallouts, and ramifications of said event.

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Trigger warning: This book deals with mentions and implications of abuse, mainly physical but potentially sexual. While the latter is never descript, reader discretion is still advised. 

With Maddy. Monday.

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Waking up in his arms was quite possibly the most relieving, overwhelming, and terrifying thing she'd ever felt all encompassed into one single moment. And yet, for the life of her, Maddy couldn't find the will to move, let alone allow her brain to start overthinking when she felt as comfortable and safe as she presently did. 

As always, she'd awoken first, and had promptly panicked. Her brain had clicked into overdrive as she urgently tried to recall how she'd ended up where she was, and why she was facing a warm chest. Initially, her heart rate had increased rapidly, creating an anxious pit in her stomach that made her feel ill. 

Slowly, however, as the previous night's memories began rushing back to the forefront of her mind, her anxiety, at least the worst of it, eased, and she adjusted to the sun brightened room with a more positive outlook for the day. 

It was strange, Maddy realised, to feel so at peace despite all that she'd done. To feel in control despite entirely losing it the night before, and to feel so safe in the completely new situation that she had now entered. 

Ant awoke a few seconds later. His form became rigid against her back, tightening with his usual morning stretch. Maddy almost shifted off the couch, concerned that he might shove her off. Instead, the arm that he'd kept around her waist since they fell asleep tightened, as though he subconsciously recognised what she was doing. When he finished stretching, he glanced at her and smiled, voice gravely from sleep. 

"Morning. Sleep ok?" Ant asked, yawning as he spoke. 

Maddy nodded slowly. She wasn't entirely sure how to respond. A large part of her still felt like a foolish child, one who'd yearned for attention so badly that she'd returned to the only place she knew how to find it. It was unnecessarily cruel, and certainly unreasonable to both herself and Ant, and for that reason, she couldn't find it in herself to properly respond. 

"Mads?" Ant seemed to sense her discomfort, or, whatever you could call the existential crisis that her brain deemed necessary to have at 9 o'clock in the fucking morning. "You ok?" 

She immediately opened her mouth to snap at him, then, closed it just as quickly. Maddy desperately wanted to avoid lying, and while she knew he wouldn't condemn her for this particular one, there was no need to get into a habit this early. "Um, just a little shaken up." Maddy finally managed. "Sorry." 

Ant smiled good naturedly, as he always did, and moved to sit up, pulling her up with him. "It's fine. I expected you to say you were half drunk and go running out my front door, so this is progress." He laughed. 

Maddy snorted, half embarrassed that it'd been her first thought when she awoke. "Glad I didn't do that then. Asshole." She huffed.

Ant rolled his eyes, then offered a half smile. "You know you love me. God, I need coffee. Want one?" He asked, standing this time, and making his way towards his kitchen.