A Way Back To You

29| Trauma

Definition: A deeply distressing or disturbing experience; a physical or emotional injury that takes significant time to heal.

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Trigger warning: This book deals with mentions and implications of abuse, mainly physical but potentially sexual. While the latter is never descript, reader discretion is still advised. 
Author note: The above video is my recommended background music for reading. Click play, and settle in. 

With Ant. 

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Ant wasn't sure how to describe the feelings that hit him as he followed the doctor down a dim hallway, through a series of doors and into Ariana's hospital room. Because there wasn't a word that did his emotional state justice. 

In bad situations, some people shut down. Some people got angry. Some people wanted revenge. Such as Alpheus, who was presently in the waiting room with the rest of his friends and family, calling a million different people to find who the hell had been the second car in the accident. He wasn't sure who had called the man. It hadn't been his thought, because all he wanted was to tell them what was happening. 

Within minutes of him calling Kaiko, though, everyone knew, and half an hour later, everyone had come in here, waiting by his side for news that Ant would've paid any dollar to get. Alpheus had given him a hug, scared a nurse, and then pulled out his phone and hadn't put it down since. 

Ant, on the other hand, wasn't angry, nor pacing, nor trying to find out what'd happened from Police Officers who couldn't tell him anything. No, the only thing Ant was presently feeling was fear. The kind of fear that twisted around him and left him wondering what the hell was going to happen next. 

The kind of fear that left him horrified, anxious, panicked beyond words. Ariana could've been in any kind of state, and what could he do? Nothing.  Because not a damn thing Ant did or said would bring her back. No amount of anguish could save the child. Was this how his parents had felt when he'd been in danger as a child? Had they panicked and wished they had the capacity to change the past to protect his future? 

Because if for even a second he'd  the ability, Ant knew he'd do it, consequences be damned. No, perhaps he was wrong earlier. Ant knew now what he was feeling, and shockingly, it was feeling human. Feeling powerless when watching someone you love go through something that you can't prevent. Ant was feeling human, and he'd never despised it more in his entire life.

As the doctor asked him to wash his hands and guided him into the ward, Ant took a shallow, barely calming breath in order to clear his erratic mind, hoping that whatever news the doctor gave him would be good. 

"Mr Nekton, if you'll try to keep your voice down." Dr Murphy urged, opening the doors to a ward. 

Ant stumbled slightly in the dark room. The doctor switched on a small, bedside light. The last time Ant had glanced at his watch, it'd been 1am. Now, nearly 9 hours after he'd first seen Ariana's body wheeled into the hospital, he was able to lay eyes on her again, and he nearly sobbed with relief. 

Fast asleep, bruised and covered in cuts anywhere he could see, a large white cast across her arm, but mercifully alive. Her face was bruised, and she had a million different machines attached to her, The heartbeat monitor beeped rythmatically, and as he watched it, the pit in his stomach seemed to disipate somewhat with the knowledge that she was truly okay.