A Way Back To You

15| Gravity

Definition: the force that attracts a body towards any other physical body having mass.

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Trigger warning: This book deals with mentions and implications of abuse, mainly physical but potentially sexual. While the latter is never descript, reader discretion is still advised.

With Maddy. Friday, 1:04am.

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Maddy held a hand to her mouth as Ant left her apartment, hoping to hide the chocked sob that slipped from her throat as she locked the door. Her body felt weak; she could barely support her weight. Maddy put all of her weight against her door, sliding down to sit with her knees hugged against her chest. 

She let her head fall back against the door as she heard Ant yell. Heard him slam his hand into the wall in frustration, heard the subsequent cursing and eventually heard the shuffle of his feet against the hallway. If he didn't feel guilty, even a little, she was confused as to what that reaction was about.

Yet, Maddy remained rooted to the spot. She didn't feel capable of moving, regardless of how physically strong she was. The only thing she could think about was what Ant had just said. Maddy had always known that there would be drawbacks to not just explaining everything to Ant. And the consequence that she received for it today was Ant's unnecessarily cruel words, cutting deeper than he could ever know. 

However that wasn't the main thing going through her head. Ant had caused her irrevocable pain when they'd broken up. But never, not once since that day, had he ever hurt her feelings again. Ant had made her angry. Ant had made her angrier, and Ant had made her want to break his neck. But she had never cried in front of him. 

Not for 4 years. He'd never made her anything other than angry. If his goal had been to push further, he'd fucking set the house on fire and brought it to the ground. And the scariest part was how badly it had ached. Not only that, but Ant hadn't just commented blindly. He'd observed the situation and pin pointed exactly who was responsible for her anxiety. He'd been far more observant than she could ever have given him credit for. 

Again, this was fucking terrifying.

Because that meant that something had changed. Everything she'd been trying to ignore, every single look and smile and caring gesture, all of it had meant something. Maybe she didn't know what. But it had.

And she'd been blind up until now. Because Ant could piss her off as much as he liked. But the second she allowed him to hurt her, she was in deep shit. She was immediately vulnerable if Ant could hurt her feelings, without her being able to stop it. 

That realisation sapped the last of Maddy's energy from her body. Weaker than she could remember being since living with her second foster father, Maddy dragged her body up and stumbled into her room. She could barely recall falling onto her bed. She'd immediately fallen asleep. 

Across the hall, Mina later jolted awake to the sound of Maddy screaming in her sleep. 

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With Ant. Saturday, 5am.

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It was one thing to be constantly around his ex for varying reasons, including the fact that she had a strange connection with his child and somehow had been friends with his group of friends for years but he'd never realised. 

It was entirely another to be kept awake because he may have overstepped some invisible line. Ant threw back the covers on his bed, finding them too hot and too restrictive. In fact, everything felt wrong. He clapped his hands and his bedside lamp turned on, and he took a quick glance at the time. Fuck. It was 5 am? He should've been asleep.