Elastic Heart // Charles Leclerc

Prologue

~2000~

''C'mon Charlie, it's not that hard. You accelerate with the right pedal; you break with the left pedal'' my dad yells irritated. I'm just three years old when my dad introduced me to the motor sport.

I'm not sure what he expects from a three-year old who's never been in a kart.

''It's not that hard''

Back then, my dad was a big fan of formula 1. And somehow, I know he would rather have had a son than a daughter.

But here I am.

An only child to a normal family. My dad is a truck-driver, and my mom is a nurse. My dad is away from home most of the week, and my mom works day and night shifts. Most of the time I was at my grandparents. But at some point, my dad thought it would be a good idea to do something together, too bond with me.

I was three, I don't know how much bonding a three-year old can do.

But still he tried. And if I think back, I'm a little grateful that he did.

''Maybe you need to let her try first.'' My mom says in a soft tone.

''she just needs to get it, if she's not good now, she will never be at the top in a couple of years''

"she's three-years old Frank'' my mom snaps a little.

Looking back on it now, it wasn't a surprise that they divorced a year later.

~2007~

''are you stupid?''

I throw my helmet too the corner of the room. I'm not stupid, he is.

''No'' I let out.

''Then why the hell aren't you on that podium?'' he yells at me and points to the podium.

I take a step back. Dad has been drinking again, the outbursts have gotten worse. And as a ten-year old it's not easy to deal with. After my parents got a divorce, I lived with both off them. My mom working more night shifts then day shifts, meaning I would have to stay with my grandparents more than I would like. And the days I would stay at my dad would only include me racing and my dad yelling at me.

I think my mom knew, I think she knew how my dad was and that that's why they got a divorce. I just I just don't understand why she would let me go with him alone.

''I will do better'' I say and look at the ground. Not daring to look the man in his eyes. Too afraid to be yelled at again and again.

''Good is not enough Charlie, you need to be the best'' and even though I was just ten-years old, I rolled my eyes at him, fourth place is good. I get that it's not as good as first, second or third. But still, I was proud of myself for a second.

~2010~

''you need to dress different'' My dad and manager look at me. I look confused at them, not knowing what they mean.

''what do you mean with different?'' I ask.

''you need to dress more like a boy'' my dad simply said. I look at my manager Grey, he is looking everywhere but me.

''Why?'' I ask, still confused. I'm doing good now in the girl selection, I'm third in the championship right now. My dad will tell you that it isn't good enough, but for me it is. I'm getting better, that's the point, right? It's a hobby, at least it is for me. For my dad it's a different story, apparently for my dad it's his whole life. He quit his work when I started to get better at karting. Not sure where he pays his bills from right now, but for some reason we still get by.

''you won't get anywhere being a girl, with being a boy you can get into formula one at some point.'' My dad's eyes light up when Grey mentions formula one.

''But they will know when I take of my helmet, I'm not going to cut off my hair'' I say raising an eyebrow. My dad rolls his eyes.

''then you never take off you helmet; it isn't that hard Charlie'' My dad rolls his eyes.

''And with you already having a boy's name, we don't need to change that. Nobody will suspect a thing'' Grey says clapping his hands.

I don't think I really have a choice when I look at my dad with a pleading look. Even if I say no, he will push me to the point where I break and will say yes. Just like he always does. Maybe I can talk to my mom or grandparents about it, not that they can change his mind, but they can at least try.

''Only your team will know about it, nothing can go wrong.''

~2015~

''Charlie Moore you are the formula 2 champion of the world''

The words ring through my earpiece. I slow down a little as I put my hand up and wave.

''Yes guys, we did it'' I say in a low voice.

Over the years I learn how to lower my voice to sound more like a 'boy'. I still can't believe it all worked, my dad and Grey were right. I didn't need to be so nervous for something that was not going to happen.

No one asks questions anymore. There were a lot in the beginning, when I just started formula three and again when I went too formula two. But finally, after two years of being in formula two, they stopped. Nobody asks me why I always wear my helmet and never take it off. Not on the podium, not for interviews.

And the biggest question of all 'why do we never see you leave'. But they always see me leave, they even know me as a daughter of one of the mechanics.

My happiness was soon gone when I just got out of my car, the first thing I wanted to do was run to my dad, tell him that I did it, that he doesn't have to be mad at me anymore, that he can be proud of me.

But after that I hugged my team and look around for him, I don't see him anywhere. He is not here.

And little by little my heart breaks, like I'm 10 again, feeling stupid that I just won a championship and thinking that my dad would be proud.

He never has and never will, so why am I still hoping for something that will never happen?

~2019~

''there are three teams that want you to sign with them.'' Grey says and puts three contracts Infront of my nose. I look at my dad, he's only looking at his phone not paying attention to what is happening Infront of him.

This is what he wanted right? This is what I worked for all those years.

''We got Mercedes, Ferrari and McLaren.'' Grey says pointing at each contract. And again, I'm looking over at my dad, who is unfortunately still looking at his phone.

''Dad?''

''whatever you think is good for you'' he says waving his hand in the other direction. That alone says enough.

I look back at Grey. ''looking at the contracts, I think Ferrari would be the best choice.'' I smile.

*
Hello!

So the first chapter is a little short, I know. All of the other chapters will be longer I just want to do a little background story first.

Next chapter will be up later tonight or tomorrow morning.

I will try to update twice a day, at least once a day.
I'm a nurse so it depends on my schedule when I can post a new chapter.

Hope you will like it.

Be ready.

~H