Head in the clouds

Forty Two- Theo

"I hear the rhythm of waves hittin' on the shore
And I can swear they're speaking, speaking, speaking
They're telling me to relax, I'm not good at that
But now I know I need it, need it, need it." I didn't think it was humanly possible for Morgan to get more attractive than she was already. But her singing beside me on stage on a song she pretty much wrote and published alone the summer we met. A song that I gave her the ability to write, it was killing me. I mean the outfit wasn't helping matters either but we're not mentioning that right now.

"Ooh, now what you do, my tan lines tell the truth
Yeah, on Venice beach, got sand all in my shoes
Ooh, unlock me, loose, see the sunset from the roof
Yeah, that crystal blue, and I came out someone new." She's so dramatic. I chuckled at her, pointing down at her shoes as she sang at me, dancing a little calmer than her normal stuff but it was still a brilliant show.

"Yeah, I'm in my summer feelings
And I'm trying to keep it cool
Way, here in my summer feeling
And I found a piece of me that I never knew."

"You got my heart, and I'm head over heels in love
In California, dreamin', dreamin', dreamin', yeah
Touchin' the stars, and then draggin' them down to Earth
That California, feelin', feelin', feelin'
Oh, now what you do, your brown eyes tell the truth
Yeah, down on the beach, I'm stayin' out late for you
Oh, unlock you, loose, see the sunset from the roof
Yeah, you got to me, and I came out someone new," This was hitting a little differently now, as I reached over at her, tapping her nose gently. She laughed, turning around and making me almost lose my place. Get it together Theo.

The rest of the song went by so quickly I barely remember dancing around with her like we weren't on stage in front of thousands of people. Though, being with Morgan felt like it was just us in the world anyway so I don't know why I was expecting anything else honestly. I placed a hard kiss on her cheek when she hugged me at the end of the song, telling her how proud I was of her whilst lifting her legs up from the floor, just long enough for her to settle her nerves that I could see building up again. When I put her down I waved, stepping off the stage and out of sight quickly, leaving the floor to her as the crowd went a little crazy.

I'd checked social media after our little debut earlier, eager to see how it was going down. Our management teams had posted a few pictures of us both online at the same time we were walking down the carpet. We'd taken them a second before. Standard prom style pictures. Me and her, all 4 of us, and then one at the end of a super cheesy kiss. It was downright adorable and I was 100% setting it as my wallpaper later tonight. The comments on the whole thing seemed over all positive which I was so grateful for. I think us being friends for nearly a year really helped on that. And the leaked photos of us dancing at the wedding last month. We looked perfect together in those photos. I know Morgan had one as her phone background, even if she tried to hide it.

The hosts welcomed everyone to the Brit Awards, Morgan stood in between them, smiling brightly into the crowd. I looked around me as a handful of dancers from her tour gathered beside me all dressed up in similar outfits to Morgan, just a little calmer. Less drama. She spoke, telling the crowd the new single came out at midnight tonight which sent them a little crazy and she laughed. The stage went dark and I stood on the sidelines, watching a spotlight shine on her.

"So, I've been tryin' hard to open up
When I lost someone, it hit me rough
I paid to toughen up in therapy
She said to me, "Soften Up"." Okay, it's gonna be a personal one. I don't know what I was expecting but throwing her brother in the second line wasn't it.

"I'm sorry if I push your good away
Especially when I'm needin' you to stay
I know you hate that I still test your love
I'm tryin' not to fuck this up." Uh-oh.

"But the benefit of all the broken hearts
That I broke before they could break me
Is a little bit of life regrets
I won't bring that mess to you when you're with me
And I wanna be brave enough to show you my not-so-perfect family
And I wanna be brave enough for everything." The dancers broke onto the stage as the beat picked up and I stood completely gob smacked that this girl was throwing out a song, for me, smiling at me from centre stage when she could see I'd worked it out. I'm so fucked.

"Surrender my heart
I wanna get closer
Surrender my heart
I wanna be open, I wanna be honest with you

I used to soldier through my hardest days
I used to switch it off, ignore the pain
I craved to feel it all entirely
In your arms, baby

But the benefit of all the broken hearts
That I broke before they could break me
Is a little bit of life regrets
I won't bring that mess to you when you're with me
And I wanna be brave enough to show you my not-so-perfect family
And I wanna be brave enough for everything

Surrender my heart
I'm out here in the open
I wanna get closer
I'll believe in you every night
Surrender my heart
I wanna be open, I wanna be honest with you
I'll believe in you every night
Every night
Every night
I'll believe in you every night
Every night
Every night
Surrender my heart
I wanna get closer
Surrender my heart
I wanna be open, I wanna be honest with you."

I stared at her, struggling to pick my jaw up from the floor where it had been sat for the past 2 minutes. I just couldn't put the words or thoughts together in my head. Completely staggered on what I'd just heard and witnessed.

Less than a year ago, this girl couldn't even admit she needed a 2 day break from working. I had to throw her damn pen down a beach just to get her to look elsewhere for 2 minutes. She didn't believe she deserved any of this, let alone did she tell a soul about how her emotions were killing her. And on stage, in front of thousands of people, on live TV, at an awards show we knew her entire family were watching. She just gave me everything.

Morgan was a literal ray of sunshine that had the entire country and Europe and now me, eating out of the palm of her hand. I got to be here, be hers whilst she put on an astonishing show. She had so much energy and people got to leave her shows exhausted but beaming. And I get to take her home. I get her.

I'm so fucking lucky.