A Little Too Late /m.g.c/

2

With the house to himself, Michael grabbed the next letter and began reading it.
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June 2, 2013

Today my teacher told us that we could talk to him if we ever needed to and he stared at me. I knew he was talking to me specifically but I just brushed it off. Stupidity, that's what that was called. I was offered help and I willingly declined. But I wanted to talk to him. I just knew what would have happened if I did.

It's not that I'm scared of seeing it happen, I just wouldn't know what to do if it came down to it.

I can barely face the fact that I have to live in fear everyday in my own home. It's honestly the scariest thing I've ever imagined. I don't know if I even have a life because it's primarily based on what he wants and when he wants it. Life in this house is a privilege. Being able to breath everyday is only a gift.

People say that being able to live is the best gift you could ever have, but here, it is the only thing that you wish you could freely do. There is the difference between living and breathing. Living is when you have some type of fun or you can walk around freely and enjoy your time at home, work or school.

Breathing is when you don't have that freedom to sit and say, 'I'm going to the movies with my friends. I'll be home by midnight.' You can sit in fear and hope that you one day find that thing or escape to finally live.

I think it's sad to say that the only thing keeping me in this house is Michael. He was my rock or my anchor. I could always talk to him about anything. I was never afraid around him. He made me strong and that's okay. Even though Makenzie and Michael love each other, he was still the only male that I truly loved whole heartedly.

And I don't have a clue if Michael even knew that.

- Destiny

Michael sat against the nearest wall, holding the letter in his large shaking hands. A tear fell from his forest green eyes as he thought about her beautiful brown curls. Not a light or dark brown, but somewhere in between.

He thought about the way her caramel colored eyes held so many tears and secrets that only he knew. The way her light pink lips would curl up into a smile when she saw him. He smiled at the thought of her laugh. The way she would giggle when he tickled her and gasped for air when she begged him to stop but he laughed and shouted "Never!'

Michael had a strange feeling in his chest that he had never felt before. His heart was racing and butterflies erupted in his stomach. Suddenly the butterflies were shot down and a sea sickness feeling came upon him. His feet carried him to the bathroom and he sat there a while as everything he ate washed away with his tears.

Nothing made sense to him at that moment. He couldn't tell if the right way was right or if the wrong way was wrong. He couldn't seem to think about what it was that made him happy. He couldn't smile at the thought of his girlfriend.

He could only smile at the thought of her...

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{edited}