𝚂𝚎𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚝 𝚊𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚛𝚜 (dropped.)

Chapter 16: Distance.

This was something that Alban wasn't expecting at all. He prepared himself for the worst, for being rejected, for their friendship to be broken apart. So why did Sonny tell him these three goddamn words that would make him so speechless right now!?

"I love you." 

Only three words, but he knew how important it was to him. He had wanted to hear it for the longest time, yet, that didn't mean it had to be right now, right when he was about to forget about it hopelessly. Alban just flinched, he could feel the tension build up in his body. Of course, Sonny didn't let this go quickly, as he started to speak again. "If you don't hear it clearly, I can just repeat it to you as many times as you want. I love you, Alban. I love you from the bottom of my heart. I never think of you as just platonic brothers, I want to be with you, and you only. If I make you painful because of that, I'm so sor-" 

Alban's hand went out of the blanket and grabbed at Sonny's arm, telling the blonde boy to shut up. But Alban's action just went through the latter. Sonny would never back down ever again, leaving his thoughts unspoken which caused this problem was what he regretted the most. Sonny kept repeating many times, ignoring all the signs of Alban telling him to shut up. At one point, Alban couldn't take it anymore. He quickly got out of the blanket, sat straight up, and looked at the blonde boy right close to him.

"Is it even matter, can you just ignore me!? Like for f*ck's sake, we can just be normal again as what you want if you just go straight home at this point. So why, WHY do you keep saying this to me out of pity!? I don't need it! Okay!? Just...Go home!!" Alban cried while shouting at Sonny. He didn't really want to say all these things to Sonny, but seeing the latter feel pity for him and try to satisfy him with what he deeply wanted to hear was painful. 

He just hoped everything could move on, everything just went away from him. Otherwise, he felt hard to breathe, even near to who he loved, even in his own goddamn home. But what he got back was...confusion. 

Why did Sonny look at him with such a sad face, wouldn't he be pissed by now? 

Why did Sonny repeatedly say 'sorry', it wasn't his fault for breaking Alban's heart, it was the catboy's choice. 

Why didn't Sonny back away and just hug the more petite boy so tight, as if he would never leave?

"Why are you still...here, after all the cruelest things I've said to you...?" 

He couldn't understand what was happening right now, he tried to comprehend it logically. But the more he did it, the more disoriented he was. He tried to push Sonny away, but it backfired, as Sonny was hugging him tightly right now. Alban did struggle to get out of Sonny's embrace, but that seemed impossible for him as Sonny is much stronger than him. "I want something to tell you, would you mind listening to it right now...? I love you from when we met each other, but...I'm scared to tell you. I think it's a good time to tell you right now."

Alban remained silent, he really didn't know what to say or what to do right now. 'A good time' he said. Alban just sighed, he literally just came back with injuries all over his body, lying in his bed after a whole heartbroken session and now this man thought that this is a good time? But then, the realization hit him. What did Sonny just say?  Was he misheard it or did Sonny just say that he fell in love at the same time with himself? 

He wished that he didn't hear it since he couldn't bring himself any stronger anymore. But deep inside his heart, he always wants to know what Sonny thinks about him. It's a cruel joke, but he wanted to risk it one last time. Life sure is hard, but sometimes you need to choose some risky options to gain lessons and experiences all for yourself, and that was what Alban doing now. Alban chose to listen to his heart.