To Girls You've Ever Loved | ✔️

Chapter 14

Dallas Everett

Tension started to build up on me, as I fiddled my fingers nervously. I think I like you had circulated around my mind. It kept going, and going. I didn't know what to feel. It was something I couldn't accept. I felt guilty of what I have been hiding from her. I know she'd be disappointed in me knowing that her parents had just borrowed money from me.

She doesn't know it. January doesn't know it. I have tried to grow them farther away from each other but I was sure that January would hate me for it because she met herself meeting someone with genuine intentions for their friendship. I was happy, and that was the part I messed up. I shouldn't have made them closer from the beginning but I would've been the bad brother to January, and never this time would I afford to do that.

I know she'd leave me if she knew that when we were together. I couldn't wait but I had to stop myself from giving in to my feelings for her. That's why I had always reminded myself that; we couldn't be together. January came into my room, and looked at me. "What the hell? Did you just reject Dahlia?" She looked at me furiously. I hurt her only friend, she was mad at me for once.

"There's a reason for it. She'll hate me for it." I told her without revealing it. January did not know about how our garage also had debt collecting agency that's been hidden. "And that reason is unreasonable, you know what. You're always like this!" she shouted from anger. Her voice had gotten shaky since she started shouting, I could hear how upset she was about this whole situation. I had to get hurt rather than seeing her get hurt, but it was already the opposite.

"You're always trying to distance yourself when one wants to be close with you and when they want to know you. You're just the problem, it's just you!" she spoke frantically. "You're like this to me, this is why I can never bring myself to open up to you. You're always acting like my parent yet like an enemy. Just stop it." her tears started to well up in her eyes as I looked at her. She looked disgusted on how I acted to Dahlia. She left as she slammed the door. That's two times in a row now that I had heard door slams for me.
Hard to believe it, but I also liked Dahlia.
But it was impossible for us to get together.

Since then, we haven't been making eye contact at school. We never talked again, nor did I see her coming up to the rooftop as she bothers me. I'm not complaining about her bothering me, I liked her as my distraction that it felt like it was just us.

A day became three, then just became a week. We haven't talked for a week now. It felt like fucking pain, I had went through every places she came but I hadn't been passing by her that much. It was like she was hiding from me. I had to give up and asked January. "Where's Dahlia?" I looked at her, pleading to give me an answer. "She went home." Her cold reply froze me and I was immediately taken back to what I had to do.
I had to find Dahlia, but in this case, I'll never meet her.

I was on the sofa, sitting as I thought about her. I was going fucking insane.
I couldn't handle the pain anymore so I left the house. I went to the bar to relieve the guilt I felt I caused Dahlia, also January who was really affected since Dahlia barely talked to her. I was in deep pain.
I entered and immediately went to the second floor and sat. This was the view from where I could see every person from above. I ordered something hard and it would make me feel drowsy. I looked around the crowd and there I saw a familiar face. She was sobbing as she drank, with three guys. I wanted to cripple their legs and arms so that they couldn't walk and hold out their arms on her body. I was so mad I couldn't do anything but run reckless imaginations I could do to those boys.

Every touch that touched her skin meant one stab of a needle on my heart. It was like a silent but deadly death of mine inside. I looked at her, all my eyes were on her. She looked up and saw that her eyes were meeting mine. She looked terrible, she looked like she had been painfully crying. I held my glass tightly, pressure between my hands gripped the glass more.

Suddenly, I saw her hug a man. It looked like they knew each other, more like they were friends. They hugged each other, I felt jealous even if it was just her guy friend. The man offered his hand and she happily took his hand. They danced together as they were totally immersed in the song that was playing.

An unknown man went behind her and was totally hitting on her. I was furious so I headed downstairs as I gulped down my drink. I was almost close to her, so I came to cut his distance behind her.

I grabbed her by the waist from behind and told her. "Some guy was hitting up on you from behind." She looked behind as she saw the guy irritated. "That's irritating! Why is this girl out here partying!" as he looked furiously that I could feel him throwing vulgar words at me. "Thank you." It didn't sound like a sincere thank-you.

"But I'm with another." she removed my hands from her waist as soon as the guy left, and went to the guys she was with.

That didn't hurt at all.
I was lying.
It tore my heart into shattered pieces.
Walking on those pieces felt like simply burying myself.