To Girls You've Ever Loved | ✔️

Chapter 22

Dahlia Meadows

Everything just happened so fast.
I couldn't process everything that happened to me recently. It went on so fast, I had Katherine left as I had neglected Dallas' feelings and I was wrong for it. I promised to call her again to let her know what happened between my aunt – I don't even know how to call her. I couldn't allow myself to hate her, nor put disrespect on her name again. I called Katherine, with a sore voice. "Kat, come here please.. Please." as I mumbled the last word please.

"I'm already here." as I heard a knock. "I've been here since your aunt called me."
"Kat, she's not my aunt." I looked at her, my eyes had continued swelling.
"Lia, come on. I know it was wrong that she invaded your privacy! Maybe your parents asked to check you out, right? We shouldn't judge-"
"She's my mother. My biological one." I cut her off, as she gulped down her saliva.
She looked at me, desperately wanting to hug me but I did it first. I embraced her body, as she was wrapped around with my arms. "Please, I'm suffocating Kat."
She tightly cupped my body all around me, she felt warm that she was like the hot warmer I need when it reaches December.
"There you go, sweetie. Don't cry." She softly caressed my back, and patted it as she comforted me. I burst more into tears as my tears started flowing. My heart was so hammered, that these bloody tears were flowing down on my eyes. "It's okay."
She started soothing me as she rubbed my back in circles, I leaned in her chest that I could hear myself crying out the other ear.

I knew it. Everything was happening so smoothly, that the crash started to hit me faster but painfully. I had expected this painful crash to happen once, but I didn't expect how much of my imagination was all about what Dallas could be feeling right now.
It was like I was such a burden to him, I couldn't ask what he was feeling at that time.

I remember those words I had dug into him, it made me feel so ruined.

I want to tear those painful pages in his memories, and bury them far away.

Looking back, what if I had been a part of those painful pages I hadn't teared up yet?
No doubt, I was.

"Katherine, I'm moving to Canada. I'm gonna finish and get my bachelor's degree there." Katherine spat the water she was drinking. "What?!"
I nodded. "Aunt.. I mean my mother got pancreatic cancer. She's gonna get treated there." I looked at her, worried. "It's okay." She wasn't the type to hide her feelings, she immediately showed a dismay between my words as her mouth slightly slanted to the side. I knew leaving her would be so painful. It was like Katherine was already a part of my daily routine in life – checking up on her as I witnessed her heart-wrenching break-ups, or even the happiest moments of hers.
"I'll miss you."
She held me tightly again, embracing me tightly. "I'll miss you too, you know."

—---------------------------------------------
Dallas

It was another week of school, three months before it ends. I took a look out the windows, I saw a figure of a woman walk by. It turns out it was Dahlia, I hurriedly rushed out of the classroom. What was I doing?
"Dahlia!" I shouted.
"Dallas?" As she turned to me, I felt the joy when she mentioned my name but this time my heart ached as she shouted my name. It feels different now.
"Can we talk?" I pleadingly ask her.

We went up to the rooftop, as usual. It was our place.
"Where are you going?" We looked at each other, our eyes were both swollen.
"I'm going to Canada. I'm gonna finish my studies there, Dallas." The ache spread and eventually made a burn in my eye.
"Why?" I whispered quietly. I didn't know what I should be doing; I should be hugging her so tight but there was an excerpt of force stopping my body from doing so.
"I need to. My biological mother.. just showed up to me recently. She has pancreatic cancer, I don't know how long I can bond with her but until her last breath I wanna be there for her. Even if she wasn't there for me."
There was a vast difference between Dahlia and I now, and I see that clearly – even though she knew the hidden lie throughout her life, she still accepted that lie. She wholeheartedly accepted it as a "lie" but for her, it was just a lie.
I was there, looking out knowing that I could see why we won't work out at all.

"Oh." I couldn't think of any words that I could say to her, Oh? I'm so fucking stupid.
She smiled with all pain and bawled her eyes and spoke to me. I looked at her as she brushed against my shoulders and left, as she held the doorknob. I heard a word from her. She came closer to me, and hugged me from the back.
"I'm sorry, I had to do this. I had to hurt you." She cried as I held her hands, shaking with fear. "I'll be the person to convince you that you're able to put on a smile one day, but those smiles will be just for me."
She looked at me, painfully smiling as the tears threatened her eyes and started to well down on her cheeks.
"You will be the most tragic yet beautiful thing I've loved." The tears that I held back suddenly dropped as I cupped her cheeks in the palm of my hands. We hugged each other, as our tears started to drip down with each other. Her tears were dripping on my shirt, and my tears were dripping in her head as I kissed her forehead lightly.
For the last time.
"Thank you, Dallas."
I knew my heart had been torn up so much now. It was like I was her book, then I was the content of the pages she wrote.
Not knowing, we were made for each other. We believed we were both soulmates; we were just never made to forever last in each other's arms.

"Till we meet again, Dahlia." I watched her slowly turn around, and leave the rooftop.
This time, I'm not gonna follow her. For her, I would save all these smiles when we see each other and hold ourselves in our embrace.
If we ever meet again, I won't let you go.