Heart Out

Never gunna quit it

3 days later.....

Mattys POV

I stayed at Ross' for the weekend, so he could keep an eye on me, he said that's not what he was doing but I couldn't help but notice the side glances every-time I got a little jumpy or how he'd freak out if I was out of his eye sight for longer than five minutes. Despite being under close watch I enjoyed being here. I feel like I've eaten enough food to sustain me for like the next two years. Slept a lot and just basically chilled out. Ross hadn't let me have a joint just incase and I'm totally itching for one at this point, Ross met George, we've all stayed up playing FIFA and GTA , Ross thinks he's quite great to be honest. I haven't really had time alone with George to speak to him alone to tell him what happened but I will when I go home. Ross' mum said that she'd told Denise some of what had happened over the last few days but I spoke with her and told her that I'd tell my mum myself about all of it. Which is we're we start I'm waiting for my mum to come and pick me up because as much as I love being here , Ross needs to actually get some sleep as we've got last week of school to finish then we're on Study leave and he's been awake the whole weekend keeping an eye on me. I'm sat with Ross in his doorstep just having a cigarette waiting for my mum to pull up.

"I'm shitting it Ross, how's she going to react?" , the smoke of the cigarettes is floating around us making Ross look like a damn god sent to save me.

"I think it's your dad you have to worry about mate , you're your dads boy" , that sends a small shiver down my back because he's right, I hate upsetting my dad. My dads my best friend honestly and I hate letting him down.

"Don't...I can't tell him"

"It'll be okay man trust me they love you and they'll help you so much you know that", We both spot my mum coming down the road, we drop our cigarettes on the floor and stamp on them as we stand up and Ross tackles me into a hug "I love you bro, don't think about it to much okay , just be honest they'll understand"

I hug him back tightly and whisper into her ear "love you too man" , I say goodbye again and then jump into my Mums car as she waves to Ross and drives away, I start to feel immediately anxious as I get comfortable in the seat and strap myself in "hiya ma"

"Hiya love , did you have a good time?"

"Yup", I can already sense it's going to be an awkward conversation to have, I know Ross' mum told my Mum that I'd need to talk to her.

"Sooo , what's going on with you then love , Lisa said you'd need to talk"

"Mhm", my hand flies straight to my hair wracking my hand through it like always when I'm nervous, trying to find the right words to help me through this. "Where do you want me to start"

The car ride back from Ross' really didn't take much time since he's just down the road so we're already at ours sitting in the drive way, My mums looking at me but I can't really tell how she's feeling so in turn I can't really gauge what she's going to say which makes me kind of uneasy "maybe first off, how did you end up at Ross' and not back home like you said"

She didn't ask like she was annoyed but I still feel bad for not coming home like I said I would. "I really did plan on coming home , but then I just figured I needed Ross, he would be my best port of call in the moment"

"I thought you were just going on a walk to clear your head Matthew" , I really don't want to tell her everything is going to go to shit and I'm scared but maybe just , maybe, it'll make everything better if I do. But my hands are twitchy again and I'm nervous. Ross telling me "to just be honest" is running through my head on repeat.

"I need to be honest here, eh...I did go for a walk ...but um...it was for unlterior motives" , I take a moment to breath through and get myself together so I don't cry AGAIN , Jesus so much crying "I ....I...I went to get um ...went to get high"