My Darling (a Jimercury story)

"Can I Buy You A Drink?"

A/N: So this is my first book. English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistake in this story.
But have fun reading it!

TW: mention of self harm, mention of suicide

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Jim is curled up in his bed and is crying.

(Jim's POV)

After a fight my boyfriend left me and I don't know what to do. I'm worthless, ugly, fat and unable to show my emotions. How am I supposed to find a boyfriend, nobody wants a man like me.
Should I just end my life? Maybe it's better because I'm no longer a burden to anyone when I'm dead.
After my outing I lost almost all my friends, only my family in Ireland is still there for me. And after my boyfriend left me I have no one left who cares about me here in England.

He cries himself to sleep with suicidal thoughts.

Jim's days usually looked like this: Get up at 6am, take a shower, make breakfast and go to work. He would come home around 7pm just to put on his pajamas and fall into bed tired thinking about his future. The only exceptions were public holidays and the weekend. Then he went to the Night Club Heaven to drink and forget his pain.

It was the same this Saturday. I was sitting in my corner at the bar as usual. I was wearing a baggy, washed out jeans with a black and blue striped sweater to cover up the scars on my left arm. As always, I wore only oversized clothes because I am extremely insecure with the way my body looks.
As I was about to leave, the most beautiful man I have ever seen approached me. He had raven black hair, a moustache like mine, and those brown eyes that I fell in love with instantly. He wore a rather tight fitting jeans which brought his ass out quiet nicely and a white shirt with a brown leather jacket.

He sat right next to me introducing himself as Freddie after I said I don't know who he was.

-Can I buy you a drink? he asked after we both introduced us.

-No thanks but let me buy you a drink I answered because I already had a few drinks and I didn't want to become completely drunk.

-Oh that's lovely, a vodka-tonic please Freddie said.

As I tried to pull my wallet out of my pocket, somehow my sleeve slipped up so that he could see my scars. I quickly fixed the sleeve and paid for his drink. I prayed that he wasn't disgusted about me now. When I looked up at him again he had a worried look on his face. I looked down at my shoes until he quickly finished his drink. Then Freddie pulled me into the bathroom of the club.

-Jim darling, are you okay? I saw the scars on your arm. Freddie asked with a worried voice.

-Yes, …umm… cat just scratched me, he's been a little aggressive that's all. I tried to fake a smile but Freddie didn't belive in my story.

-Jim, I know those aren't scratches from a cat. You can tell me what happened, I'm not going to judge you. I promise, Freddie said.

He took my left hand in his. I twitched at the touch because he was dangerously close to my scars.
In panic, I ran out of the club, Freddie running after me.
After a while of running I stopped at a bridge, looking down. I climbed over the railing ready to jump down at any moment now.
I heard Freddie shouting something like "Jim, stop!!!". After some minutes of comforting me, he managed to persuade me to climb back onto the safe side of the bridge.

I didn't know why this stranger was so kind to me.

Freddie instantly took me into his arms sitting down with me.
Dozens of tears are running down my face as I snuggled into Freddie's protective arms.
I had my head under his chin, my eyes trained on my thighs so he wouldn't be able to see me crying although I knew he knew I was sobbing, so it was basically useless. I was embarrassed to be crying and I didn't want to look up to him. My ex-boyfriend always told me to be more of a man and to stop crying when he noticed me crying.

He called a cab and brought me to his house apparently called Garden Lodge. The house was surrounded by huge walls.
When we were finally inside he led me to his bedroom.
He undressed me to my boxer. I was not comfortable with him seeing my body but I didn't manage to tell him.
I lay down in his bed.
He also undresses and after laying down next to me Freddie slips the duvet over our bodies.

Although he is a complete stranger, it felt good as he held me tightly in his arms. That's the way I always wanted to be held by my partner. I had a strange feeling of comfort because even my ex boyfriend never held me close while sleeping, he always wanted to have a distance between him and me.
As I remembered him I started to sob again.

-Jim are you crying?

I just nodded, hiding my face in the crook of his neck. I was ashamed to be crying again.

-Are you alright or do you need anything? He asked worried.

-I'm okay… thank y-you. I answered him between sobs.

I felt bad for abusing someones kindness like that. I tried to stop crying so he wouldn't be angry at me for not letting him sleep.