Turbulent Waters

14. Fear

Fourth Year, February 12th 1976

I wouldn't call myself a super studious student, not at all, I rather value my personal time and I can't write a charms essay at the bottom of the Black Lake sadly. However, I am also a Prefect and my grades have to stay in good graces, so almost every day after classes and before dinner I study at the same table in the back of the library, basking in the sunlight streaming through the grand windows.

Today I have to tackle a transfiguration essay on the dangers of being an unregistered animagus as well as the theory about how to become one. The feather of my quill traces the print as I eagerly read about the shape shifting wizards, careful to not lose my place.

"Oi Hali!" A whispered bark sounds off in my ear and I jerk away from my book, sitting straight in my chair I see Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape standing above me, twin sneers scaring their faces. "I need that book." Lucius states simply and goes to grab it from my hands.

"But I'm reading it," I pull it close to my chest and lean back in my chair, straining to maintain some distance between us as the white-blonde boy begins to inch towards me. Lucius's hand latches onto the book in my arms and he brings his face close to mine,

"I need it and you're gonna give it to me or I'm going to show you what we do to dirty mudbloods like you," a sinister gleam fills his empty blue eyes as a sick smile twists across his face, "and I promise it hurts."

My arms fall limp as the two boys laugh to themselves and walk away with the book, tears flood my eyes and my heartbeat races in my ears. Without thinking, I find myself running out of the library and through the many halls of Hogwarts, desperate to get away from the terror the purebloods had given me. My feet finally stop in an abandoned corridor overlooking an unfamiliar, empty courtyard filled with untamed greenery.

My chest heaves as I wheeze out hurried breathes between sobs, genuine fear striking through my heart as I hear their haunting voices in my ears, "I'm going to show you what we do to dirty mudbloods like you and I promise it hurts." I slap my shaking hands over my mouth as I try to quiet my cries.

A dark wizard, Voldemort, has been rising in popularity in the pureblood crowd recently. They fantasize over his idea of a world without muggles, muggleborns, or half-breeds. I've heard Slytherin students whispering about him before, but I never thought people would truly agree with his monstrous ideals.

Fear whirlpools in my mind, dragging every thought into a constant loop of- My mama married a muggleborn wizard. She's a Mer. My yiayia and pappa are muggles. I'm half witch, half Mer. We're not pure. They'd kill us.

The cold hand of terror clenches at my throat, I choke on my own breath and tears and horror while black spots start to cover my-

"DIANA!" I hear distant footsteps rush towards me as my chest jerks at the lack of oxygen and panic floods every system in my body, I'm about to pass out.

"Diana, you need to breathe. Please breathe, you're safe, I promise you're safe. Please, Diana!" Warm arms wrap around me and my heavy eyelids fight to open, a familiar tug pulls at my mind, allo miso.

"Breathe with me Diana, you have to breathe love. Please. In and out." Regulus holds me to his chest tightly, I can feel it swell and fall at his words. "In and out." I will my own lungs to do the same. "In and out. Just like that, good girl. In and out." It sounds like he's desperate for me to hear him. I continue to force the breathes and an all consuming, warm, tingly feeling surges through my veins, allo miso. The warmth chases away the cold hand at my neck and I feel myself start to relax in his hold.

Tears blur his handsome face as I finally peel them open, steady rivers burn down my face even as the feeling of safety starts to inch through me.

"You're doing so well Diana, keep going." Soft yet hurried murmurs fill my ears instead of the threat from earlier, my body lays numb in his strong arms as my mind and blood sing at the care.

"Regulus," I whimper out in relief. With a ridiculous amount of strength I turn my head into his chest, my forehead laying on his sharp collar.

"It's me, I'm here, you're safe." Regulus leans his head against my own, the words whispered like a solemn prayer into my hair. I raise my trembling hands to grasp onto his robes and hold his close to me as my tears slowly ebb away. 

"I was so scared," I finally squeak out when my eyes ran dry, the tremble possessing my body carries into my voice making me sound as weak as I feel.

"Here, sit up, have some water." A gentle hand pushes on my back so I'm sitting against the cold stone wall while my body continues to lean into his, my head heavy on his shoulder. The canister rest on my lips without me holding it and another hand on my neck leans my head back slightly, making it easy to swallow slow sips. Once I drink enough to soothe him, my head is on his shoulder again.

"Thank you." I say with closed eyes, fighting valiantly against the urge to rewrap myself in his arms.

"What happened? Who did this to you?" I can hear the anger in his voice and find myself squeezing my eyes tighter, "I'm going to show you what we do to dirty mudbloods like you and I promise it hurts."

"Th-they called me a"- I stutter out as a new round of sobs claw at me. "A-a mudblood and said they'd, they'd." My throat closes tightly as fear inches towards me again, my voice cut off against my will. Regulus moves his arms to be completely embracing me as we sit under the window, his breathing slightly faster then earlier.

"They called me dirty." The confession is meek and I'm shocked I said it out loud, Half-breed filth has no place in our world. Half-breed filth has no place in our world. Half-breed filth-

"You are not dirty." The words leave no room for arguments, as if he's never been more sure of something before. "You are not dirty at all." He says the words just for me, directly in my ear and I find myself nodding in agreement, hypnotized by his sureness.

"I'm not dirty, I shower everyday." I feel more then hear his chest rumble with laughter at that, bringing a small smile to my face. A warm hand brushes down the length of my hair and I subconsciously lean my head into the calming touch.

"Not at all", his head gentle nudges mine and I let out a quiet coo in content, my previous anxieties and fear abandoned for Regulus's hypnotizing reassurance.

"Do you want me to take you to your dorm?" I shake my head at the thought of him leaving, knowing that when he does the dark, fearful thoughts will come back.

"Do you want to stay here?"

"Yes please", I quietly plea and he simply holds me tighter. Laying my head on his shoulder I find my face nestled into the curls at his neck as my own arms wrap around him. My hands rest on the hidden muscles of his upper back and I force myself to not blush as a surge of heat runs through me.

We sit there for what feels like hours, quietly listening to the distant bird songs and the soothing rustling of leaves riding the wind through the courtyard and into our private corridor. Theres an unspoken and new intimacy in the way our chests rise and fall in synchronicity, the feeling reminds me of laying on the ocean floor as the weight of the water would roll over me in steady waves, this feels like home.

"Thank you." I whisper into the ebony strands that curl around my sweet astéri's ear. Regulus turns his head so that soft lips gently graze the sensitive skin of my neck,

"No one deserves to be that afraid alone, don't worry about." And the knowing in his voice makes me wonder what could possibly make Regulus Black, the youngest son to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, afraid.

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this has been my longest chapter yet! please let me know what you think!!